Jason L:
Does anyone here do the actualism method precisely as Richard taught?
I don't think I have a firm grasp on it because I don't really see things as silly. Feelings can dissipate when I tell myself that something doesn't exist anymore, or doesn't exist now. But if I think about the trigger again, I pretty much get the feeling back again and there's no 'silly' appraisal to prevent it. I never have a definite, 'oh, that's silly' realisation. If I did I would have a lot more confidence because I wouldn't be able to get the feeling back (just like I can't get the belief in Santa back again). The method I use is weak/flimsy... How does one truly grasp the fact that this is the only moment of being alive without having had a PCE? Is this the key to seeing emotional responses as silly?
Hi Jason,
A few things to consider:
1. Are you suppressing your feelings when you try to realize they are silly?
When you cease feeling good, and try to think of that as silly, are you trying to simply make the (bad?) feeling disappear or vanish? Or do you enact the following:
"If ‘I’ am not feeling good then ‘I’ have something to look at to find out why. What has happened, between the last time ‘I’ felt good and now? When did ‘I’ feel good last? Five minutes ago? Five hours ago? What happened to end those felicitous feelings? Ahh ... yes: ‘He said that and I ...’. Or: ‘She didn’t do this and I ...’. Or: ‘What I wanted was ...’. Or: ‘I didn’t do ...’. And so on and so on ... one does not have to trace back into one’s childhood ... usually no more than yesterday afternoon at the most (‘feeling good’ is an unambiguous term – it is a general sense of well-being – and if anyone wants to argue about what feeling good means ... then do not even bother trying to do this at all)." [1]
Understanding that something is silly is not a tool to dismiss, unexamined, whatever one is experiencing at any given moment. You must "pinpoint" (to use Richard's words) what it was that ended the period when you were feeling good and only then can you begin to realize the silliness of it:
"Once the specific moment of ceasing to feel good is pin-pointed, and the silliness of having such an incident as that (no matter what it is) take away one’s enjoyment and appreciation of this only moment of being alive is seen for what it is – usually some habitual reactive response – one is once more feeling good ... but with a pin-pointed cue to watch out for next time so as to not have that trigger off yet another bout of the same-old same-old. This is called nipping it in the bud before it gets out of hand ... with application and diligence and patience and perseverance one soon gets the knack of this and more and more time is spent enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive. And, of course, once one does get the knack of this, one up-levels ‘feeling good’, as a bottom line each moment again, to ‘feeling happy and harmless’ ... and after that to ‘feeling perfect’." [1]
Please note that the specific trigger to not feeling good must be "seen for what it is, usually some habitual reactive response," in order to go back to feeling good.
2. If applying the idea of silliness to not feeling good doesn't help, perhaps you could come at it from the angle of sensibility.
Instead of telling yourself "this is silly," if it is not working for you at this time, maybe you could ask yourself, "Is it sensible to be feeling bad [2] about this [whatever 'this' is]?"
See what happens if you apply the silly/sensible evaluative method from the other side, which should be helpful in opening whatever you are experiencing (re., the feelings states you are writing about in your post) for questioning and exploration.
3. A recap and practical reminder:
As Richard points out in the article referenced here--you could understand the practice to unfold thus:
"Thus, by asking ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive,’ the reward is immediate; by finding out what triggered off the loss of the felicitous feeling, one commences another period of enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive. It is all about being here at this moment in time and this place in space ... and if you are not feeling happy and harmless you have no chance whatsoever of being here in this actual world (a glum and/or grumpy person locks themselves out of the perfect purity of this moment and place). And by having already established feeling good (a general sense of well-being) as the bottom line for moment-to-moment experiencing then if, or when, feeling happy and harmless fades there is that comfortable baseline from which to suss out where, when, how, why – and what for – the feeling of being happy and harmless ceased happening ... and all the while feeling good whilst going about it." [1]
So, ask yourself each moment again, "how am I experiencing this moment of being alive." When you cease feeling good, figure out what triggered your current state. If the method I suggested above works for you, you can ask yourself, "Is it sensible to be feeling this way about this?" And, when you realize the senselessness of the feeling and return to feeling good, you can begin to establish this feeling good as your "comfortable baseline" from which to do the practice.
One can realize that it is only ever "now" by diligently asking each moment again, haietmoba. Simply asking yourself this question repeatedly, throughout the day, will bring your attention to the only moment you have to be alive--which is always right now.
[1] http://actualfreedom.com.au/richard/articles/thismomentofbeingalive.htm
[2] You did not specify the emotional states you are talking about here; so my reply to you could be amiss if you mean to talk about "emotional responses" as something other than not feeling good/bad feelings. Please correct me if I have misread your post in this regard.