Todays practice;
10 min Walking
40 min Sitting
Aditional 20 min sitting
Aditional 60 min sitting
I was positively surprised how fruitful my practice was today, especially because i experienced very weak Effort to practice for a few month now. This was promissing
I feel very much energised all day long. Nice for a change. This path is to be delightful not a dreading one.
Without delight Jhana wont happen.
Used the walking meditation first so to warm up Mindfulness before the sitting practice. Meditation subject: sensation on the feet touching the floor. Many thoughts. Observer behind the eyes. Restless. Stiffness in shoulders. Relaxing willingly.
Sitting meditation:
Started to fabricate the Long in and out breathing and sensing the whole body. The "habituated self" felt like rejecting this new Long breathing addition. Strong aversion towards it. Uneasy sensations in the chest, like a fist is sqeezing the heart, palms vibrating, observer in the space behind the eyes, aversion slowly deminishes.
The breathing is very stiff at the start and is like this for good 10 minutes or so (not looking at watch). The lungs clinging to the breath, as soon exhaled totaly there is this desire to breath in at once. Like thete is no trust that inbreath is to happen anyway. The pause after outbreath started to become longer when the long breathing continued without effort on its own accord.
Strongly sensing the in breath entering the nostrils and expanding the lungs and lower abdomen. Strongly feeling the outbreath diflating the lower abdomen lungs and exhiting the nostrils.
The whole skull just under the skin is vibrating.
Waves of energy surging under the skin all over the body mostly the torso.
Very few short daydreams.
At one stage there was this restless feeling and the self wanted to get up and stop meditating. Stone-like feeling in the stomach. Aversion-wanting to avoid = suffering. Idetifying with sensation indeed leads to suffering.
I re-enforced the awareness to the breath which was not difficult thanks to the breathing being so long and one can hear it clearly. There was this awareness of the sound of the breathing the breathing itself with the in out and pause.
At one stage there was a vision unclear and dusty of a DNA kind of ladder... Not sure what sensations happened when this came....hm.
The room i meditated today was cold. I was dressed properly so not cold but just right. The cold air sure served the body-mind well with it's freshness.
Session after session i felt like doing an additional sitting

until my wife asked me nicely to do something together with her and the dog. So we went for a long walk

Off the cushion:
Feel lots of "creative" energy. "Lets do it" "lets rip it" kind of

in the sense of practicing meditation that is ;)
There is this calmness in the eyes, behind the eyes, in the very thing looking through the eyes, some sort of understanding and patience. There is this crawling sense of something beneath the skin at the back of my head/skull.
Im off to bed now. Good night ya all.
May all being be happy and free from suffering