Wow, really great comments. I appreciate it very much and I will reread and reread them when times get rough.
May I update my progress, as it seems to be a bit different since yesterday?
Suddenly my negative mood dissipated yesterday, I also, after reading nearly every noting technique thread, revamped my meditation, rebolstered by actually nonverbally muttering things (probably too much hubris to do so before). I might say in or out for the inbreath and outbreath once each second in my mind like the rapping quarter note of a snare drum to simply demand my full attention, the thing which hasn't cooperated lately, while doing this I'll notice every sensation of the breath, in, as it weakens, stops, begins weakly, strong outwardly, slows down weakly, stops, etc, at the rate of sixteenth or thirty-second notes, inbetween those uttered quarters, if that makes sense.
I read and reread the twenty fourth chapter of MCTD, on the progress of insight. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm getting stuck at the third nyana? Which I don't understand because I've very certainly had many, many A&P's and things which, if nothing else, were A&P events. The characteristics of A&P won't easily leave my mind, the gentleness and calm, the precision of concentration, the comfort and longevity. The plight I'm facing now is one that is motivating me to start a unique thread on it, but I'll cross my fingers and hope y'all can help.
Please shepard me!! 
The plight is that in addition to these Three Characteristic sort of feelings, there is tenseness invading myself at nearly all angles, a high intensity in my body, the background, my mind, things get shakey. The big deal is this: 95% of the time I try to meditate now all that junk climaxes into my eyelids shutting with a furrow, so tightly that it nearly hurts, strains my eyes and promotes anxiety for the safety of this involuntary force. Vibrations (I believe, as I've read nothing on vibrations and can't with authority identify them) and intensity seem to embrace most of my entire field of perception, kundalini energy seems to be trying to burst up my spine and out the top of my head like a goddamn smokestack, but there's
never a coming sense of resolution, no light at the end of the tunnel, the intensity grows until I'm exhausted and raw, openning my eyes before the universe combusts or I damage my eyes.
This used to happen, a month ago or so, I'll call this the first phase. Then from then until this last week I experienced dissolution feelings after the lovely A&P (progressively more, it didn't get strong until last week with book dissolution), characterized by not being able to follow the arising and middle of the breath, or really being able to contemplate it for that matter, with anxious feelings following it, then an annoyance and finally a strong sense of wanting to be finished (all very clearly in formless jhanas). I thought that was the dukkha nyanas, it led into something very similar to all the above plight but without the intensity or pain, it was pleasant and easy, and when it climaxed it included all of reality, even the subtle bits, this is what led me to thinking that I was close to SE. I'll call that phase two, whereas I'm now repeating phase one as a third phase. Daniel said something about how the difference between an A&P event and formations would become apparent later. And once I did experience an epic moment the first time of those
questionableformations, there was a moment of great insight and a honeymoon period afterward (I seen two of the three doors, looked back at myself, there was a steep drop and then seen the third and there was some epicness which along with not knowing the terrain makes me wonder if it was SE), it motivated my first post. I don't know enough about these things, maybe it was just my first A&P event and it took a few weeks for the dark night to set in?
Um, so then, is it normal to get stuck at the Three Characterics with a great day being able to hit an odd A&P that seems unfamiliar and questionable at best while in the Dark Night?
So lost