| | Regarding craving vs striving, there are some suttas (131-134) in the MN that contain a poem called "One Fortunate Attachment", reproduced here off of Access to Insight based on Ñanamoli's translation:
"Let one not trace back the past Or yearn for the future-yet-to-come. That which is past is left behind Unattained is the "yet-to-come." But that which is present he discerns — With insight as and when it comes. The Immovable — the-non-irritable. In that state should the wise one grow Today itself should one bestir Tomorrow death may come — who knows? For no bargain can we strike With Death who has his mighty hosts. But one who dwells thus ardently By day, by night, untiringly Him the Tranquil Sage has called The Ideal Lover of Solitude."
In short, if your practice is to discern the present, that is very different from striving which is based on future, or on remembering, which is based on the past, but if you keep your practice about what is happening now, comprehending things now, then any effort you put into that is right effort and conducive to insight. This balanced with the other 7 factors: mindfulness, investigation, effort, rapture, tranquility, concentration and equanimity, leads to wisdom.
In short, don't be afraid to practice correctly, meaning comprehend the true nature of sensations as they arise.
Good luck on your retreat. Habitually increase the quality of the stream of present information: this will serve you well.
Daniel |