| | Haven't logged in for a while. Here goes...
2/2/12 sit/walk: 30 minutes – evening Sleepy and went to bed after sit.... didn't take notes
2/3/12 sit: 60 minutes – morning Phenomena: scattered, distracted, planning, stress, pain, restlessness, doubt, tingling, itching, cold, warmth, hearing, effort
2/3/12 Sit: 60 minutes – evening Phenomena: Planning, excitement, compulsion, future thoughts, craving, investigation, curiosity, resignation, disinterest, commentary, analysis, stress, worry. Comfortable sitting for about 50 minutes, then some pain, moved position and kept sitting. Mostly calm. Practice: noting, watching breath, and body sensations, investigating.
Been really busy, and haven't taken notes over the last week. I sat probably an average of half an hour a day. I continue to have so many insights and seem to be learning a lot and growing at a rapid rate. Quite happy about that. And, I'm enjoying the practice, and the multitude of layers of new things to discover. Also, I've really been enjoying sensations, breathing, atmosphere, sounds, etc. Even though I'm not intentionally practicing sensuousness, it seems to happen often anyway.
2/8/12 Sit: 60 minutes – morning phenomena: happiness, contentment, thinking, planning, hearing, enjoyment, pain, dullness, haziness, fading in and out, calm, quiet, effort, love, enthusiasm, dedication practice: noting
2/9/12 Sit/lie/walk: 60 minutes – evening phenomena: thoughts, sleepiness, exhaustion, pain, tingling, body sensations, etc. planning, conversation thoughts, imaging thoughts, hearing, warmth, evaluation thoughts, desire, curiosity, enjoyment, etc.
2/10/12 Sit: 60 minutes – morning Sat down, different thoughts happened, I noticed the quality of the thoughts, and paid attention to the sensations of hearing and the sensations throughout the body. Different patterns of tension, and release occurred throughout the sit, with some pain associated at times, lots of tingles, and itches, and twitches, pulses etc. The overall feeling was one of confusion for most of the sit, combined with a calmness, and somewhat of a blankness. Along with this, were different patterns of resistance, doubt, aversion, disinterest, etc. I paid attention to the comings and goings of different mindstates, body sensations, sounds, thoughts. There was relaxation, enjoyment, calmness, equanimity, curiousity, investigation, looking, waiting, watching, contemplating, considering, etc. There was some frustration along with the confusion. Things changed from moment to moment. I watched things change from moment to moment. There was a sense of self that seemed to come and go, sometimes the sense of self seemed to be somewhere or something other than myself, and sometimes it seemed to be me, sometimes it seemed that there was some self doing something. I guess I could say it was sort of flickering and shifting, in a somewhat erratic, often hazy, and elusive kind of way. This was closely related with the sense of confusion. There was some analysis and some attempts at commentary or explanations.
I sat the entire hour firsthand (not moving my posture at all) and felt quite calm, and relaxed with little sitting-type pain for the entire hour and even after the alarm sounded.
** Again, I was busy so didn't journal. I think I did about an hour of meditation on Saturday, an hour on Sunday, 2 hours on Monday, 15 minutes on Tuesday.... Some strong insights and dedicated meditation in bed Monday night.
2/15/12 Sit/lie: 60 minutes – morning phenomena: started sitting with intense energetic electric edgy feeling, mildly unpleasant. Restlessness, muscle contractions, suffering. Worry. Lie down. Mind wandered a bit, disgust, nausea, discomfort, pain, more muscle contractions. Racing thoughts, pain. Shooting pains in head. Severe pain. Doubt, resignation, despair, hopelessness, defeat. Wanting to quit. More pain. Struggle. Stuck, confusion, trying to escape, wanting to escape. Look at clock – 18 minutes left. Thinking, planning, discussing, analyzing, tightness. More tightness, pain, discomfort, aversion, suffering. More energetic, buzzing discomfort. Look at clock – 4 minutes left, back to sitting posture. Pain. Practice: Noticing the sensations of the present moment (with equanimity). Mostly noting them. Fairly consistent. |