| | William, Thank you for posting your very personal experience. Unitive experiences such as the one you described are a dimension of the A&P event. A&P's can be so mind blowing it induces some people to believe they have attained enlightenment, which of course they have not. Whether the yogi likes it or not or is prepared for it or not, you are then plunged head long into the Dark Night which can be a very scary place, hence your panic attack and subsequent recoil from it. Energetically, the dark night is a very unstable place and can often give the feeling that you are losing your mind. If you react badly to it, it just re-inforces the initial response and associated negative feelings and anxieties. If you have not already read Daniel's MCTB you should as soon as possible. It is an extraordinary resource and meticulous in detail and insight. You should be able to orientate yourself through that. One other thing, I don't know much about the biochemical predispositions people have toward panic attacks. Yours reads like an extreme example of what the Dark Night can be like, but I think here perhaps you need the advice of someone further along the path than I. I hope this helps you some what. Welcome back to the path. I wish you well on your journey. Paul |