My first semester back in school is about to end, and right now I can't think of a better thing to spend my break doing than
going on retreat. The plan is 17 (maybe 19) days, in mid april.
This will be at home, almost all indoors.
This thread seemed like a good place to start. Daniel basically details a bunch of things that are possible on retreat, and I can't see a reason not to give this a shot.
Questions:
(edit: this is better phrased in my first reply to the thread)
1. My first thought is that this will be difficult. All of my retreats (from .5-10+ days, total not much more than 2 months) have had difficult periods. There is always that "retreat hump" to get over, where I struggle with myriad emotions, mostly boredom, restlessness, and thought loops about how I am wasting this precious retreat time. I will alternate between periods of over-the-top effort, despair at noticing my mind is not doing what I want, accepting it, and powering with the effort again until it becomes easier and easier. At some point I notice I've let go of the effort and am consistently doing the thing I wanted to do (noting or whatever) without trying, and will proceed to examine that and see where it goes. This happens without fail at the beginning of every retreat I have been on, and the whole process usually takes at least a day.
I was wondering if anyone could comment on this. I wish to spend less time floundering, and more time doing what I planned to do, but wonder if perhaps this is simply a part of the adjustment period. Noting has served me well in an insight context, as there is literally nothing else to do when you fail. Just note the failure, note note note note note. I'm unsure what to do on a concentration retreat, as I'm supposed to be staying with an object, and there will be non-negligible periods where my mind (and/or body) is simply unable to do that.
I'm thinking of something practical and logistics/planning related; should take more frequent breaks when needed? What to do during those breaks (insight?)?
2. Candles/Kasina, neither of which I have used before. I plan on getting a bunch of small ones at the supermarket and making a rough estimate for my total sit time for the amount. Is there a post anywhere about proper brightness, height, distance from seat, etc? I was just going to sit on the floor, have a stool a little below eye level, and have the candle up on that.
Perhaps some of you on here who have helped run retreats can offer some guidance.
3. Reading:
MCTB recommends "A Path of Serenity and Insight" by Henepola Gunaratana. Reading a comment on the amazon page, this was apparently his doctoral dissertation, and freely available online (
here. Is this the same thing or should I pick up the book?
If anyone has read either or both, comments on what to look for would be appreciated.
Also, Ian And's stickied concentration thread seems like a goldmine.
Thanks!
Daniel