Hi Brian,
Brian K.:
My question[:] was this an A&P or jhana experience. I've been doing concentration practices lately (for the past few months), and recently have had trouble with maintaining concentration. Been experimenting with some insight practices for the past week. As of right now i can't willfully get into jhana.
Based on your description and your own misgivings about the event being anything more than just a random event, it appears that what you experienced was an A & P event, although it may have had an element of absorption which may be useful for you going forward. If you're not able to consciously sustain the absorption, then it would be difficult for anyone to classify it as a
bona fide event. Yet, that is not to say that elements of a
bone fide event weren't possibly present.
If you are not willfully able to enter into absorption, and you are aware of that, then you seem to have difficulty distinguishing between the actual elements involved and what you
imagine may be involved. This is not unusual in beginning practitioners who are new to learning about this practice. It takes a few experiences and thoughtful
reviews of those experiences, before one becomes more self-assured of what they experienced.
As far as what you should do next is concerned, do what comes intuitively natural. Calm and insight go together. Whenever you attain to a calm state, your mind is going to wonder (not wander) about the elements involved in maintaining that state. Such wondering is called "insight," or at the very least the process in which insight can take place. Use those moments to strengthen your discernment and observation of what is occurring.
Otherwise, just carry on as you have been.
In peace,
Ian