Ryan Jaidsedha Burton:
First, the 1st jhana that MCTB says you have to attain before beginning insight practice is a very simple state, and you have probably attained it numerous times without knowing (because it isn't all that amazing). If you go to Pa Auk Sayadaw's monastary, the 1st jhana you will be working to master there is an entirely different attainment. So don't let confusion about that point be a motivating factor.
Ok I thought that attaining first jhana as a prerequisite for insight in MCTB meant entering the first samatha jhana, exiting into access concentration and then observing sensations.
No. MCTB conceives of concentration practice (and the resultant states) in a way that's quite different from traditional sources. If you have Pa Auk Sayadaw's 1st jhana (or any jhana) as a goal, most of what you read in MCTB concerning concentration is highly likely to be misleading or confusing.
"Access concentration" in MCTB is another thing that is quite easy to attain and unglamorous. There isn't much of a relationship between it and what's meant by "access concentration" in traditional sources.
Well I've decided I'm gonna arrive at Panditarama a month early and stay a month past the retreat or until I hit SE. I have around 2 and a half months to prepare for the retreat. I've ditched Samatha trying to follow the whole of the breath. However an interesting phenomena has occurred. (...)
My guess about the problem you've had with observing the anapana spot is that you're trying to "focus" on it in order to make it the object of your meditation (as you've been taught to do). But, the activity of "focusing" as you currently understand it, putting your mind or attention "on" an object, etc., is (simplified) just clinging, and so what you're doing is unhelpful to developing useful concentration. That's why, when you don't focus on a particular object, you get better results.
So, I suggest continuing to do the Goenka-style practice you mentioned, and see how that goes, with the important qualification that you don't tune out the rest of your bodily experience. You should be open to the entirety of your bodily experience (or as much as you can naturally perceive as this point in your meditative development). Don't tune it out, but don't pay it any special attention; rather, let it just be there. (It may occur to you that tuning it out is the way to get jhana, because you would be more "focused" on your breath or whatever if you tuned out everything else, but the opposite is true; you need to be so indifferent or equanimous towards the rest of your experience that it eventually disappears, and tuning out is the opposite of indifference or equanimity.) You may have to re-read this advice as your meditative practice deepens in order to understand it fully.
(You can also experiment with whether Ajahn Brahm's technique of "knowing that you're breathing" (instead of paying attention to the little tingly sensations) helps. I think it's ultimately better than paying attention to the tingly sensations you experience. But, be realistic concerning what's working and what's not working for you where you are right now.)
Also, this is not "samatha" or "vipassana", but just meditation. If you emphasize concentration, you'll eventually enter absorption. If you emphasize understanding the various sensations you'll experience, you'll gain insight. You can emphasize whatever you think is better to emphasize at any particular moment, and eventually experience various good qualities in tandem. When you meditate, it might be helpful to think about maximizing your experience of the factors of enlightenment, getting them all to be experienced at a high level at once. You can accomplish a lot this way in terms of insight, whether or not you reach the 1st jhana.
Also, a crucial point about nimittas...the nimitta that precedes absorption ("counterpart sign") can be described in terms of sense experiences (e.g. a bright light), but it is
not a normal sense experience. That doesn't mean that it occurs like an object in your imagination would (as opposed to being seeing by your eye), or that it's in the imagination and the imagination is exceptionally powerful, but that it's simply not experienced in any of those ways. All the teachers that I know of who teach jhana according to the Visuddhimagga's standards agree on this point, so knowing this will help you not be confused about what you're experiencing, whether it's jhana, whether it's almost jhana, etc. If you literally see it, in the way that you literally see things before you and in your mind, then it isn't the counterpart sign.
And wow... this noting stuff is really gonna take a while to get used to. Hahahaha.
When I note am I actually supposed to mentally say a word? for example, intention to lift, note intention, while lifting note lifting? Am I actually saying to my self those words or am I just supposed to be aware of the intention, and then the lifting?
First, keep in mind that (as I recall) noting is a method that one uses in the Mahasi Sayadaw tradition up until concentration reaches a certain level, not permanently. The right transition point (as I recall) is when you can notice large amounts of your experience without needing any notes.
According to Mahasi Sayadaw the note should be gentle, nonverbal, something more like "recognizing" the thing to be noted.
Also, if you stay at Panditarama, the method of noting may be different than what you find in MCTB. Mahasi Sayadaw's method seems to emphasize noting various sensory experiences more than MCTB does. So if you want to practice noting before your retreat officially starts, it would help to practice the exact technique that will be expected of you so that you don't have to switch. (I assume "Practical Insight Meditation" by Mahasi Sayadaw, which you can find online, would be appropriate.)