Mm, well I'll reply to this one but I'm actually replying to several of your replies.
You must have wanted to get rid of those things when you had them, or you wouldn't have started to meditate.
To be fair, this point is absolutely true - I was obviously very unsatisfied with the noise, and yet the silence is also not so desirable, though perhaps easier to deal with, as in it allows for better reactions and makes me actually socially more successful in certain ways, if that makes any sense.
I have also tried metta practices on occasion, both the ones that Bhante G. samples in
Beyond Mindfulness in Plain English and other just home-brewed intentions to go along with mantra chanting. At least in the case of mantra-usage it does work to a degree, though it hasn't created the level of loving-kindness, etc. that I want. I suppose that directly correlates to how much I practice it though.
Blunt affect is a common transient symptom of most common "mental illnesses" (depression, schizophrenia, ptsd). It is also a common transient symptom of "insight disease/dark night." Are you sure it would be a good idea to stop practicing right now?
"Insight disease" is like a snake caught in a bamboo tube. Once caught inside the only way out is through.
This may be true, but smacks of a Buddhist story, a Buddhist narrative. You could be right that the only way through is continuing with this narrative, that the only way through is to keep doing a practice that seemingly has bad psychological effects with the belief that it pays off vastly in the long-term. That's a really huge
if, though. You could be wrong and it doesn't lead to anything really good or worthwhile, at least not psychologically. I could just be turning myself into a vegetable. I think it's important to remember that these practices (i.e. Vipassana) were developed with the assumption that I'm a monk or nun living 2500 years ago in an agrarian society, and also with the assumption that social aspirations in the world would no longer be a priority, that I no longer want or need friends and relationships, that I don't need jobs or to make money. If the personality happens to be impaired or erased, well in that circumstance it'd be more or less fine and even expected. The question isn't if the practices eventually work, but if having the practices work is actually desirable and if they produce a much happier, heart-filled human being than came in at the beginning of the practice.