My two cents, which you are invited to add heaps of salt to, is simple.
The issue isn't what you do, or what thoughts you have.
The struggles around motivation you are experiencing may simply point to areas where you're constructing an identity-- turning certain thoughts, behaviors, feelings, experiences into a reference point for identification. The thoughts, experiences, plans, pleasure, etc are not the issue at all-- and the thoughts of death coming up perhaps indicate a loosening of the identity.
Does the distinction between identification (relating to experiences thoughts plans etc. as proof of a solid separate 'self') and the experiences themselves make sense to you? If so, I would say, make this identification process the object of investigation rather than getting hung up on these life choices.
People can too easily fall into the trap of re-constructing their identity around counter-habitual activities and surroundings and thoughts, which are just as egoic (false identifications) as the originals. Be careful of this. Make life choices based on practical concerns. If you are getting confused about which are the 'right' thoughts to be having or 'right' lifestyle choices to make, take it as an indication that identification is loosening and now looking for something else to get stuck too-- different thoughts, different behaviors, etc.
Ultimately you could become a deeply compassionate and awakened used car salesman just as or perhaps more easily than deeply awakened and compassionate monastic. Seriously! And since I and many other folks need to buy cars, we would probably appreciate dealing with an awakened and compassionate car salesman. Know what I mean? Obviously this applies to any profession you are likely to undertake; car salesman is just an example