The Xzanth:
Every thing is impermanent... and not really satisfying at all. There's no point really doing anything because I no longer really have preferences. I might as well just sit and get through this dark night of the soul.
I am not certain if others will agree with me on this or not. I've dealt with my fair share of suffering, though, and am still dealing with it. And, after a long road, I must say that I sincerely believe it is a choice. Yes, you are correct, nothing holds any permanence. The world is always shifting. Doesn't that hold a hope all its own? That there will be an escape within the next few moments from your suffering, if you so want it? I spoke with a man once, who said that he was unhappy because it was so sunny. I said something about how he must love cloudy days, and he said that he disliked the rain. Or something to that degree, anyway. You can choose, at any moment, to change the scenario that you are in. If life has no permanence, then go with that! Embrace what is now, now, and then move freely onto what is next, next. Forget, for an instant, why it is making you miserable. So you haven't attained enlightenment. So, life is kind of mundane. It is LIFE!! YOU are living it. You can choose to go outside, and raise your face to the sun. You can choose to sit next to a stranger, and find out why their life is mundane, or unique. You can CHOOSE. In the end, you may never get whatever it is that you think you want. That DOESN'T matter. I may be contradicting everyone else on this forum by saying this, but breathe in, as hard as you can. FEEL the painful sensation as your lungs fill with too much air. Feel the relief of letting the breath go, and the painful sensation of having no air left. Within those ten seconds, you may find the truth- that there is joy in that pain. A small, tedious, painful joy, but the joy of life, nonetheless. You NEED breath, or you will die. That is a fact that you cannot change. But too much, and you hurt. You NEED to release that muscle. But no breath inside of you, and you hurt. So the joy is in realizing this. That you can choose to breathe, and live. You can choose to breathe out, and live. And with this, you may only get a little joy, my friend. But you might also feel that that sensation of pain is joy, as well; a reminder of your life continuing, and your courage to continue on.
You see, it is about perspective. You can choose to see that impermanence is depressing. You can choose to go out, constantly looking for new highs to get you out of the monotonous continuity of change. Or you can choose to enjoy each day, with its pain, and its sorrow, and its love, and its happiness, and its fear, as proof that you LIVE!! I find that every event that I have expectations for lets me down, immensely. But maybe, if you come at it with no expectations besides the joy of whatever you see, you will find that life is quite incredible in its simplicity. It is possible, I assure you, to greet each moment with happiness, knowing that it will never come again with quite the same experience. It is quite possible to love the quiet, monotonous moment, freed from the scope of movement, and equally possible to love the streaking movement of hundreds of movements all at once, cars and people moving all around you, with too much variety for the eye to focus on.
I sincerely suggest that you try to volunteer, or to help a friend. Or to listen to someone. It is very difficult, for me at least, to be unhappy with life when I am living in the service of another. It may change your perspective. Misery tends to come from an internal source, and, I would also say, usually (whatever form its surface takes) fear. Maybe, in this case, the fear that you don't matter? Or that life doesn't matter? Or that nothing really matters? That could be very scary. But very, very tiny things within the day could matter. You have no influence on somebody else's mood. But the joy of your smile may change their perspective enough to make them smile, or think. You have no influence over another's pain. But it might be that their pain is telling them that they need an ear, and that compassion will be enough to allow them to feel seen. And it may be that that stray smile will change your mood, or that, in your compassion for a stranger, you'll find compassion within yourself for yourself, as well. Just watch, and see, and do not expect anything, monotonous, changing, worthy, unworthy. Expectation is so deceptive an emotion. It belies hope, which truly means it secretly hides fear. Just accept.