| | Great work! From what you've written, this sounds very much like equanimity to me. Interestingly I first experienced that inward pushing pressure in my head during my first round of equanimity as well. It was also some insight attained by paying attention to something I had missed before that first got me into equanimity.
You seem to be right on track. Some tips:
- be prepared to slip back into the dukkha nanas. It can and often does happen. Don't worry, you'll get back and eventually feel confident enough to just rest there and stay focused. - don't make this harder than it needs to be! It kind of does itself - what it needs is for you to just stay on it, loosely concentrated, without grasping onto the new spacious qualities of awareness that arise. It's a pleasant down pour of sensations. Let them all fall and disappear without holding on. - formless realms may arise. Good fun, but not fruition. Apparently some people get all caught up in these although I enjoyed them without getting "stuck" cultivating them. - get a feel for any tension between a watcher and sensations apparently being watched. At this stage it's not really a case of "penetrating" anything - that's kind of done, and what's needed now is just to stay with what's happening, resting. As for subtle frustrating feelings of watcher/watched, see how they are all part of this same sensate field in a gentle, inquisitive way that doesn't compromise the wide loose concentrated focus.
In short: relax, stay on it, let it sync itself.
Good luck :-) |