Hello J S. S.,
Welcome to the DhO.
J S. S.:
I would however deeply appreciate your take on this. Have I been cycling through Dark Nights all along, going up and down the stages? Or am I still in Pre Dukkha?
I don't follow the mental maps as described on this forum, so I will defer to those who do to comment on that aspect of your questions. I personally don't find them helpful, nor am I able figure out just "what in hell" some people are talking about when they mention these short-cut descriptions (i.e. "crossing the A & P" and "pre dukkha"). Therefore, you may wish to ignore anything I have to say if you are not able to relate to it.
It will help me in being able to relate to you if I am able to understand your chronological age range. It was difficult to tell, based on your recent post. At present I have the impression that you are in your early 20s, although I could be wrong.
FYI, I have been using meditation since the age of 28. I am now 62. I come from a discourse-based background; i.e., I used the translated Pali discourses of the Buddha to help me form a practice base as guidance. Previous to that, I had been a monk in a Western contemplative religious order. But I've probably been though many of the same or similar experiences you are undergoing now, and have asked many of the same questions you are currently asking. Understanding what age you are will help me to be able to relate to you from my own experience at that same age. Life experience can be an added element in a person's ability to understand things having to do with the Dhamma. I'm just attempting to determine how much life experience you have.
J S. S.:
Also, How do I proceed from here? It was easy noting solid sensations but now that my body sensations are all broken into little bubbles, how do I note that? Do I note the whole and spread my attention over my whole body and note all the vibrations as feeling or do I try to speed up and catch as many of these scintillations as possible? Noting feelings/thoughts is still technically easy as they still seem to arise one at a time and then vary in intensity and speed of maturing/passing away.
You are probably best served by focusing your immediate practice on developing concentration through the practice of
samatha. Once you are able to (on a regular basis and at will) bring the mind to stillness and quietude, this creates the right condition for insight to arise when contemplating a knowledge insight, such as the three characteristics of existence. In my experience, I spent several months developing my abilities at
samatha meditation before moving on to understand and develop other techniques. However, even so it is important to understand that, as it is mentioned in the discourses,
samatha and
vipassana go hand in hand, and can be practiced together when the right conditions arise.
As far as noting the sensations that you are experiencing goes, what is important is the fact that you have noticed their occurrence and that you are aware of them as they occur
without break or unnoticed break in attention. These sensations can be used for other purposes using advanced contemplation techniques, however, I would not recommend that you look into that at this time. Best to keep things simple in the beginning.
Being able to recognize the arising and passing away of sensations — thoughts, the feeling factor (
vedana), and motivational intentions that pass quickly through the mind — this ability will serve you well as you begin to make progress in your practice. This is because these are the things you will need to be able to recognize as arising in the mind in order to begin eliminating
dukkha (dissatisfaction or unsatisfactoriness) from your experience.
If you haven't done so already, I would recommend reading Walpola Rahula's book
What The Buddha Taught in order to gain a more comprehensive understanding of the discipline you are seeking to learn about. This book can be located and freely downloaded from the Internet in PDF format. There are other books that I've recommended to newcommers to look into that can be found at the following thread:
Essential Books from Theravadin Resources. Top on that list following Rahula's book would be Bhikkhu Bodhi's book
The Noble Eightfold Path, Way to The Ending Of Suffering. This, too, can be found on the Internet in PDF format at no cost.
If you haven't already, once you begin to gain an appreciation for the background teachings found in the discourses of the Buddha, this can help to guide you (presuming you don't find a physical teacher) in your practice as you continue to seek and make progress.
In peace,
Ian