| | Author: ccasey Forum: Practical Dharma
During quick noting practice, the breath slows down to almost nothing, then I lose all contact with the body, and enter a vast space, look around, and then understand local space, conditional body and vastness, and there is a preference (or integrity) to stay with this process. My concern is that I have no idea in real time how long this takes, because it is new during quite long sits, (only three times now). Now that this is happening, (and who know if it will continue either), never the less, I have a concern about going to a sesshin, where there are definite times for period of standing , bowing, sitting, etc. Most of the folks stand up pretty quickly and seem happy to be able to get up. I'd prefer to stay and/or move slower. I can hardly move an inch after knowing this, or I move slowly, knowing how new this is. I need to let it happen irregardless less of what is happening around me, right? It is complex, with awareness all around and within, so trust the process, right? I'm preparing for another three and a half day sesshin- zen-soto style. I know that a sesshin is a good local option for staying with the process (for a parent), but having to move my body when my reality is that there is no body...
Also, usually, before this happens, I surrender my heart, and/or my heart surrenders, in deep racking sobs of openness, I sense it coming, (at home, I feel relaxed and open to this process, although it's not easy). When I talked about these feelings in docusan, I was told that I must stop feeling, but the visceral release seems to bring on the possibility for more awareness. Anyone with similar experience or feedback is welcome. |