Just one thing in passing, Sven, as commentary on the variety of experiences described.
You'll never get anywhere by mixing spiritual disciplines. Been there, done that; it doesn't work. Too many chefs spoil the broth. Trying to mix Zen with Christianity is hopeless. The two are incompatible. While you may not have done this consciously, it is apparent from your description that this occurred nevertheless.
Best to stick with one discipline all the way through and see how it works. After you've practiced for some length of time, from there you can evaluate it to see whether or not you want to stick with it or change.
If you are looking for a way out of the confusion and delusion you've put yourself through, I would recommend reading and studying the Pali suttas in translation (the Wisdom Publications editions of the Nikayas for English readers is probably the best and most reliable rendering of these discourses of the Buddha), as well as any helpful commentaries on these that help you to better understand what is being stated. The website
accesstoinsight.org has many of these helpful commentaries from contemporary teachers posted in its listing of literature. Also, it goes almost without saying that finding a Dhamma teacher or guide that you trust and respect to help you undergo this process should help to speed it up immensely.
In peace,
Ian
P.S. Also, if you are using any mind-altering drugs (like marijuana, hash or whatever) you should STOP immediately. These aren't going to help you begin to "see things as they are" because they alter your perception of reality. Doesn't matter if it feels good. "Feeling good" is not a valid criteria for developing a clear mind and clear seeing. At least not in the sense that it is being affected by a mind-altering drug. Been there, done this too; it doesn't work either.