| | Author: bboyYen Forum: Dharma Overground Discussion Forum
How do you know if you have attained stream entry?
Put very simply, some time ago. I got into Buddhism, most seriously when I bought the book Liberating Insight - Frits Koster.
So I tried practicing meditation. And there were some moments over the course of time from the time of getting the book and now that I had certain moments of insight.
But I don't remember a moment of attaining enlightenment.
Anyways the point is I never really meditated, or had a regular practice of meditation.
Sometimes I had moments of insight from thinking, and the more powerful ones would be from meditation.
Basically I'm just really afraid, I'm in despair at the declining state of the internet, the more complicated and kind of more annoying way and decline of buddhism, the decline of the world in general and my possible going to hell.
I don't want to go to hell, before I thought that possibly I had been a stream winner at the time of the Buddha and thus that's how I am now.
Another belief is that I'm possibly a cula-sotapanna, but not really.
Also ever since then, actually just the quality of my life in general has just declined. I can't really masturbate with any pleasure any more, I get more and more miserable every day.
This sucks, I believe I'm headed for suicide. I mean, where is the end.
There was actually a point where shortly after getting the book I realized that it made me suffer more than usual, so I gave up Buddhism, LOL.
anyways help me. |