| | hi nick,
my advice would be dont worry about getting excited and 'losing equanimity' when it happens - just notice it when it happens and keep going.
also, start broadening out your attention to include things like space, attention, silence, etc. big things, swathes of space (what are the sensations that make up space?), the nature of attention itself (what is it? how does it keep up with the so-called objects its tracking? what are the sensations that make it up?), the mental silences that sometimes present (what are the sensations that make up silence? note these carefully when they present). pay attention to the entire moment/take the entirety of your experience as your 'object' from moment to moment. and take care to avoid spacing out. fine tune towards relaxation/effortless awareness but dont get lax and lose continuity. too much effort is still better than not enough effort. just keep fine tuning, losing it briefly but then coming back to it. keep it going.
go back and re-read daniel's chapter on equanimity. see what resonates with you, and proceed with careful confidence.
hope that's helpful. |