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RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Toxic evangelism! What a great phrase. I have also described myself on occasions as a "freelance zealot", due to my (hopefully now diminishing) toxically evangelical tendencies with a whole gamut...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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John Gottman recently gave an excellent talk about relationships. He was speaking about long-term romantic relationships, but I think the info is more broadly applicable. Borrowing his terms, I can...
Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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relationship poison, destructive, counter-productive, toxic, and even small amounts... are particularly prone to toxic evangelism. The Arising and Passing (A&P), aka the 4th ñana...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Author: Ant_808 I like this thread because of the light hearted approach some people have taken. My wife has stuck with me through a lot toxic dhamma. Funny looking back on it now (not for her tho)...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Daniel, thanks for this - it is profound in its simplicity and commonsense approach and will really come in handy as a reminder to all of us to keep in mind that others probably can't understand or...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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It would also be interesting, and I think revealing, to talk about why dharma practitioners sometimes feel the need to engage with non-practitioners. Examining my own motivations to do so has lead...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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yeah thats what i mostly find too. its like there's some kind of gulf or gap that i might be able to bridge or cross or close by sharing my practice with my friends and companions. its a similar...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Ha, Ha, Ha, I think I may have actually said something like this when I was in the "plunging into" the Dark Night. Fortunately, my spouse had a high tolerance for misguided zealotry, extremely...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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This page really hits home for me. I remember coming back from a Pentecostal youth camp when I was 13, having decided to really live for Jesus. When I got home, I went out and bought Christian...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Author: yadidb Vince and Daniel, you couldn't have come at a better time with this issue! Dealing with this as we speak. Vince, you made me laugh out loud here right now and I thank you so much for...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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yeah you gotta be careful with those relationships man, those can be tricky. most girls just want to date their dude, they dont want to date the buddha. dont expect yours to be as into the changes...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Dear Tarin, There are also plenty of women, and some hang out here, who are the hardcore practitioners, and their husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/partners have the same reactions, so it goes both...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Bing-friggin'-go. Excellent essay. Excellent introspection. I can relate to all of this. What's funny is that my wife was the one that initially borrowed Buddhism for Dummies book from the library....
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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yes yes, i did not mean to imply that women are any more likely to be reactive toward their partner's practices than men. thank you for catching the ambiguity and addressing it before anyone else did.
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Way overdue discussion in Dharma circles. Someone write the book on this so I can force everyone to read it!!! :-}
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Shortly after my wife and I began dating in 2004, we were sitting in the car in a parking lot in Amherst, Massachusetts, arguing about something inconsequential. I said something about how she...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Author: ccasey Yes, there can be loneliness and arrogance, which is momentary when seen through with compassion. I’m glad when a teacher can see that when a student calls that it may be an active...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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I can never let down my guard with this stuff, my father is a baptist preacher for c______'s sake, it may as well be a defective chromosome. Aside from continually surveying intentions and...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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I ranted to my girlfriend in this way for a while. I use to talk about no-self (I tried to be sensitive and respectful) quite a bit, just sharing my interest. As innocent as I felt it was, it is...
RE: Toxic Evangelism, Hardcore Dharma and Relationships
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Thanks Kenneth, my wife and I had a great laugh reading this together!
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