So, this is how the inquiry has continued, with some practice notes...
Begin with statement of facts: "this computer is actual."
Fascination arises: "Wow"
Wonder, interest, attentiveness, etc..
more fascination, delight, sensousness, etc..
"this thing (xyz) is actual"
"wow"
repeat
"This world is actual"
"wow"
repeat
"Right now is actual"
"wow"
repeat
"I am living in the actual world."
screeeeeeeech! (record needle scratch)
"Say wha?"
My first response was "oh, that doesn't really feel true."
"What does it mean to "feel true"?
"Oh, actually, I think it's just not a factual statement." (Factual - readily observable and verified by the senses.)
"These sensations are actual"
"wow"
"This sensing is actual"
"wow"
"These eyes, ears, etc. are actual"
"wow"
"These sights, sounds, etc. are actual."
"wow"
"I am living in the actual world."
screeeeeeeeech! Doh! Not again!
"I" am really just not here in the actual world. It's like the "I am living in the" part of the sentence creates the separation from actuality.
Some more confusion, as now I think "well, then none of us are living in the actual world... because there is no 'us' in the actual world." There's really just no "I" there. And, it's not like some annatta thing where everything has a characteristic of not-self... because there's no such thing as "self" and how could something have the characteristic of not-(something that doesn't actually exist). ... Which makes me giggle a little when I consider what if we went around noting that everything has the characteristic of not-Santa-Claus or the charateristic of not-boo-boo-baloonhead. ("a delusion born out of an illusion" as Richard puts it.) Ok, but that's just an aside. Oh, actually now it makes me giggle a lot. But, anyway...
Now I'm more confused when they say (for example) that Richard lives in the actual world and what that means. The best I can figure is that there really it means there is no Richard whatsoever. There's really no being there at all. But still that doesn't make much sense to me. Anyway, I don't want to get all theoretical on it or anything. I just thought it'd be fun to share a little of how the inquiry has been unfolding for me as of late.
"I have the greatest admiration for ‘Richard the identity’: He was willing to self-immolate so that I could be here. He never knew me, but was utterly confident that the universe knew what it was doing. He was happy to disappear so that all this could eventuate. He was prepared to go all the way without reservation ... the ‘boots and all’ approach, he called it." - Richard
"He never knew me..." hmmm.....
Thanks for all the input, especially the grounding of the atheist/materialist contingent. I really like atheists.
- Daniel