Harry Potter:
Simon L:
The lack of immaturity. If it's about sex, get over it!
Dude, go read the posts (if you actually care) in my practice thread and you'll realize why it is not just about sex. Oh, and speaking of this "maturity" thing, do you know that half the american population is either anxious or avoidant when it comes to relationshiops? As for the rest, I invite you to ponder upon Richard's statement -
"A ‘mature adult’ is actually a lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning entity." Ah, I see how this "maturity" game is being played in the real-world -- it is all about impression management, isn't it?
You're right. See my previous post. I got frustrated and shouldn't have written that.
Harry Potter:
Simon L:
Things are getting better.
What "
things" are getting better? I noticed that you wrote this in your practice thread:
Things generally getting better means getting less and less affected by negative things happening. Also it means feeling better and better.
Harry Potter:
Simon L:
Social identity was easy. There's still work for me there as well, but it's easy to see.
Which social identity beliefs were 'easy to see'? Which of them never returned? Which of them still requires "work for you"? I care much for these kind of reports.
What was first of all easy to see was how there is this social identity that gets activated when it comes to social interaction. The automatic behaviors, the was you present yourself, etc.. Some things were quite amusing, to see how there are all these robotic things going on in me and and others that were just habits.
That level has never returned for me, once it was seen through. Sure, I will adapt and act appropriate to the situation, but do it from a point of freedom, an awareness of what it is exactly. I am now free on that level in social situations, where before I would just automatically act out of habit.
This was pretty easy, since it had little or no emotion involved. It was more like an "Aha!" moment after which that level of social conditioning fell apart and went away permanently.
Where it's more difficult, and where more work is required, is when emotions get involved with people. Not the random people you meet in which I used to have these automatic responses, but the people I care about and who care about me. Friendships getting formed, relationships. The more emotional stuff.
That's been getting better on the level of getting rid of social anxiety. That was the first stuff to come up. I've been working on it and I would say that it's at 75% compared to when I noticed it a few weeks ago.
And, as was obvious in my previous posts, there was a level of frustration and anger, that seemingly came out of nowhere. Now I see it is grounded in old childhood experiences. I've been working on that and that's going pretty well. I find that this goes away much easier than fear based stuff.
I hope this helps. Sorry for my recent frustration based posts.