Hi Simon,
I just thought I'd share some of my own experience on the way to AF.
'I' thought I knew everything. 'I' was very good at this AF practice. But when 'I' was questioned and seemingly criticised, 'I' felt the need to flow and protect 'myself' and school others in what knowledge 'I' had. Even though others may have been talking out their arses 'I' still had to flow and protect my well won knowledge and experiences.
'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', 'I', an endless unhindered flow of 'I'.
When I dropped all the defensiveness and the need to attack and defend, fully aiming for complete harmlessness, regardless of whether 'I' was right or wrong, THAT is when I made real progress. The less fuel 'I' gave to 'myself' via defending and attacking, the more 'I' thinned out and gave way to actuality. The more 'I' gave fuel to the feelings that were 'me', the more 'I' flowed and covered up actuality.
The disharmony you’ve observed is the human condition, and it has ‘been there’ (naturally) since time immemorial. It is ‘both sides of this coin’ and the stress perceived to be between them as well … after all, ‘I’ am the ‘human condition’ and the ‘human condition’ is ‘me’.
What I once noticed was that when I held no allegiances, there was nothing to defend. With nothing to defend, I grew dispassionate. Without ally or enemy, the need for 'defense' born of fear and 'offense' born of aggression became utterly redundant. I dropped all 'my' armaments and became harmless … and a delicately sweet peace settled all about. Such is the result of a mind which refuses ill-will for any and every reason it can find; which may mean simply rejecting it by principle, or perhaps because of some specific reasoning.
So the notion about whether it ‘shouldn’t be there’ is beside the point, because it is already there. 'I' am both the 'offense' and 'defense', and it is because 'I' have chosen 'sides'. A more relevant question, then, may be: what am I going to do about it? Do 'I' dare care enough about ‘humanity’ to abandon it and all of the various divisions and groups that make it up? Trent
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/1858627
Nick