Hey Christian,
Thanks for finding my thread helpful. I will answer your questions in reverse order:
2. Since you are doing candle meditation, I read up a little on that and tried it too a couple of times (only 20 mins per sit). I find it interesting that you keep the eyes open at all times, even when entering what you assume to be first and second jhana (and by your descriptions that sounds reasonable enough). The common notion though seems to be that one waits for a clear shift in perception to appear and then to close one's eyes and keep working with the after-image to enter higher jhanas. Did you try both ways? Have you purposely decided to keep your eyes open at all times? Also, I would like to ask how you handle things like blurring of the candle, eye-strain, blinking, tears running etc. while doing your kasina sits?
I actually never experienced an "after-image" of the candle. I read about such a phenomenon occurring in MCTB, and was somewhat on the lookout for it during my sits. The after-image effect only seems to happen to me when I'm looking at something super-bright (like the sun, or a neon light, for instance).
I didn't let that discourage me, however. I tried to keep in mind that my experiences will be my own, and possibly a little different than those of others. Since I believe I experienced what I consider to be the
other "defining" factors of the 1st and 2nd jhanas, I concentrated on those during my sits.
Also -- even though I start out by focusing on the flame itself, after a period of time, my mind naturally picks a kasina that may or may not be the flame, and begins to "rest" or "abide" there -- this is what I call the 1st jhana (it may or may not be, but I'm pretty sure it is -- it feels good, and there's certainly an increased/
palpable degree of concentration involved). Usually it's something that's very close in proximity to the flame -- sometimes it's the base from which the flame is protruding (I use an oil-lamp, and not a candle per se), and sometimes it's the reflection of the flame on the glass enclosure that surrounds it.
For me the biggest and most obvious shift in perception is the dropping away of all effort. The bliss and ease of that state is unmistakable. It's hard to miss it when it occurs because it is so very different from the desperate attempts to stick with the kasina (at all costs) when I first sit down.
So, getting back to your question, I keep my eyes open because:
a) I do not experience an after-image of the flame when I close my eyelids, or even if I do, it's too subtle for me to force my attention to pick that as the new object. Rather, I find that after a while of sitting, my mind naturally becomes concentrated upon the flame (or something near it), and
abides there -- sometimes it feels very solid -- like nothing can break my attention (I think that's probably a characteristic of a "hard" jhana). This experience + object becomes my "new" kasina/object (as opposed to the after-image). So far it's been working out well, so I
think I'm on the right track -- I'm not really sweating over not being able to see an after-image.
b) I guess keeping my eyes open the whole time is akin to establishing a "baseline" for myself -- I compare the transitions that occur against this baseline. In a sense I'm able to notice the shifts more clearly this way. Even though I haven't talked about it here, there have been times when I've closed my eyes -- but whenever that's happened, it's been a
spontaneous act. Sometimes the quality of concentration is so strong and blissful/peaceful that I get "absorbed" in that state, and my eyelids naturally close as if to deepen the effect. But I don't try to deliberately deepen the effect -- it's my take that the simple act of staying with the object will do the job of
deepening for you.
Tears have never run for me, if you mean tears due to eye-strain. Eye strain does not seem to occur for me. Once I enter a certain level of concentration, the act of keeping my eyes on the object doesn't feel all that effortful -- there could be plenty of metaphors for this, such as looking into the eyes of a beloved (or a breathtaking landscape). When that happens, you feel as though you could do that forever. Same with an ideal eyes-open meditation, I guess...
But then again, when what I think is my eyelids closing spontaneously happens, maybe it's just an automatic response to eye-strain that I'm not conscious of!
Tears have run for me, profusely, when deeply held emotions surfaced due to a samatha jhana. Ideally you would just "work" with the emotions by considering them to be the object, or just continue to stay with your kasina as the emotions do their thing -- but sometimes (especially in what I think is the 2nd jhana for me) the emotions that arose were too powerful, and overwhelmed my capacity to stay concentrated. When such things happened, I just cried -- and meditation was over. It was a catharsis of sorts, and possibly much-needed.
Blinking hardly bothers me -- I don't even notice it! I just pay more attention to the quality of paying attention to the kasina, so it
feels like an uninterrupted, continuous act. In a sense, a physical object is easier to concentrate on than a mantra, which is a repeating thought with spaces in between each repetition. This makes me wonder if one could make the act of blinking their focus of attention! Anyway -- I digress...
I'm not sure what you mean by blurring of the candle. Do you mean the image blurring, or the flame itself changing shape and becoming somewhat amorphous-looking? If the latter, then the fact that I actually use an oil-lamp produces a very consistent flame that barely flickers (due to the flame being housed inside a glass enclosure). I try to get creative with the whole thing, which I find keeps my attention on the object more easily. For instance, I can cut the wick in different shapes to produce differently shaped flames (triangular, double-peaked, etc.) -- which is a lot of fun. The more interesting you can make it for yourself, the better, since meditation by itself is considered by most minds as being a rather "dry" activity. (As a side-note, I find the
actual act of sitting to be interesting -- for some reason my mind tends to forget just how good it feels to actually meditate when I'm not meditating!)
1. In your first post, you mentioned that your long sits are around 1 hour, while the shorter ones are around 45 mins. I am wondering if you would say that these somewhat longer sits really make a difference in depth and the potential for progress, since I am currently doing 45 min sits each morning and consider upping that time to an hour too. I am not really sure though if that will really do any good, because I feel that after about 30mins into the sits my mind gets really scattered and thoughts just keep dragging me away without anything I can do about it. 15 more mins of these thought trains would sound more frustrating than beneficial, but maybe I am missing something and the thoughts might stop again after 50 or 55 mins and could give me some more good and clear last minutes where real progress can be made. So I guess I'm just asking what your take is on the difference between 45mins and the somewhat longer 60min sits?
I know where you're coming from on this one.
I definitely think that the "good stuff" starts happening after about 35 minutes of sitting, at least for me. I find that it definitely takes a while for my mind to settle down, and "get into a groove" of sitting. If I've been practicing every day, and practicing well, then I can enter a state of fairly deep concentration pretty quickly -- say, within 15 minutes.
I think you have to challenge yourself to sit as long as you can handle it. There was a time when I'd do 30 - 35 minute sits, and I just couldn't stay focused after that period.
One technique I've found helpful is to try and observe the worst urge to end my meditation, and give that my exclusive attention. For instance, sometimes my mind would get impatient and keep wanting to hear the alarm go off -- I've learned to just stay with that feeling of discomfort -- that
edge if you will where you're sitting, and yet actively waiting for the alarm to go off. If done with enough will and intention, eventually concentration appears, and you become comfortable with that discomfort. So, whatever's irritating you -- don't ignore it. Instead, make that your object. "Meditate" on
that.
You can also "program" your mind to have a ready-made response for events like that such as "Thoughts about alarm? Back to the kasina!!" On some level you know that the meditation is extremely important -- that it will eventually lead to Awakening, which is highly, highly desirable. It's good to keep that in your subconscious as you sit, because it provides much-needed motivation to stick with the sit and finish it.
My hour-long sessions are when I really "get down to work." In a sense, I make that sit my first priority (if I've been practicing well) for the day. The 45-minute sit is there more to build discipline in me. I don't expect a whole lot to happen during that sit -- I just do it to prove to myself that I can sit for 45 minutes even when I have to be at work at 6 AM (work at a coffee-shop where we have to be open super-early). At such an early hour, I'm more just trying to wake up than anything else...
For several years, actually, I became obsessed with finding the "right" duration for my body-mind. I had this theory that there was an
ideal duration for me that took into account my life-circumstances, and my natural proclivities. I still think that's true to an extent, but there are times when enough is enough, and you just have to pick a duration and stick with it (because it's
the actual act of practicing that makes a difference).
I think MOTIVATION is key here -- if you're sufficiently motivated to end your suffering, then you'll figure out pretty fast what's the best duration for you. There may come a time when you'll have developed sufficient concentration to sit for, let's say, 2 hours.
Even though I'm sitting for about an hour these days, I know that if I keep doing it for several months, then I might get to a stage where I may naturally want to sit for an hour and 30 minutes. However,
I haven't arrived there yet, so I try not to think about it. That's just too much future-oriented thinking -- trying to "plan the whole thing out" in advance. Rather, I've decided that I'm going to stick with an hour, no matter what, until the end of this year, 2011. At the start of 2012, I'll review myself and see if I need to lengthen my duration -- if not, then I'll just continue to stick to an hour.
Here's
a link to another thread I started that deals with some of your questions as well.
Hope that helped, and best of luck to you with your practice!