I'm new here. If this is in the wrong place let me know and I will adjust accordingly, thanks!
Oct. 30 30min sit 8am
I started with noticing awareness of body sensations. Just being alert and in the present moment. Allowing thoughts to rise and fall without being tangled.
Nothing too distracting at this point, very soft concentration. Loosely allowing experience to happen while maintaining alertness and trying not to be rigid.
Still staying with body sensations my visual field (eyes closed) destabilized very dramatically like my eyes were fluttering or my experience of where my eyes were pointing or my centeredness of mind in relation to where I was looking began to vibrate rapidly. It's really hard to describe this. I don't think my eyes were moving at all. It was like my mental association of where my eyes were pointing couldn't stabilize. I just tried to stay with this experience and allow it to happen.
This was followed by my whole sensation of body alignment being pulled or skewed dramatically to the left. Almost as if my body experience was wet paint and someone came along and smeared it right through he middle. My head and feet were more or less aligned in my mental expectation of space but my midsection was just not where it was "supposed" to be. this was really weird and I again just tried to let it happen.
I eventually went into reflection about this (that is lost in thought). When I noticed this I came back to body awareness and the sensation faded and everything "re-aligned"
I began counting breaths (1-10 and backwards) with extremely stable concentration (for me

however it was not spacious as I have experienced before. My concentration rested on the breath for 2 or 3 full cycles of counting forward and back but the mental space felt hard or compressed and my body sensations were more "small" or of what I would call typical reality or regular. I then noticed that my breath had become extremely shallow (staying mostly in the throat). My concentration faded shortly after this as I got frightened for a moment that I might stop breathing altogether.
I got lost in thought for a few moments about that and then returned to body sensations.
The timer went off about 1 or 2 minutes later.