Mind over easy:
I'm getting ready for my first retreat in a week, and I'm thinking more and more about it. I've been ramping up practice and such, trying to gain momentum. I'm a little apprehensive, so I'm totally open to advice. I'll just post a few random things that come to mind.
-The fear of not being able to sit all day (I've often used chairs for extended sits, and I've just used a few pillows for a cushion in the past)
-The fear of being too hungry if the food is on the light side
-Generally unsure of what to expect
-Unsure of how different practice will be when high levels of concentration and long timeframes are involved
-Immensely grateful for the opportunity, and for the fact that I can go for free
-Totally digging the idea that I'll go coming from a sane and fairly baseline mood/perspective, since content of life and insight off cushion are sometimes hard to discern, and having only insight practice going on 24-7 will be a massive clarification on the insight side
-Feeling fairly confident, since I've got the jhana and vipassana techniques moderately down by this point
-Very curious to talk to the other people there and see where they come from. Maybe I'll run into a MCTB'er!
-A little nervous about being 20, probably younger than most people, but who knows. Most likely irrelevant.
-Luckily the location was changed to a venue only 1 hour away, which is great because unfortunate job problems leave me with 40$ to make it there and back.
-Going by other stories, it seems that I will most likely be one of the few who are practicing and not getting buried in content, thank you DhO and Daniel for making the actual path of practice clear(er).
Here's another thing... I've worked on meditation for awhile now, so jhana and vipassana (mainly via noting) are part of my established practice. I've heard that you are asked to commit to the instructions of the retreat, but I get the impression that a lot of the instructions are for people who haven't had much experience with meditative techniques and traditions, in particular those that directly teach about states and stages, paths and attainments, and the like. I've read that the first few days are concentration based and that the rest are mainly insight practice. So, would it be okay to just build up jhana for the concentration phase and then do my vipassana technique (mainly noting but generally involves working with the characteristics of the vipassana jhanas)? I will feel slightly guilty not following instructions to a tee, but I'm also going to work on getting whatever path is next, and I'm more than familiar with the techniques that the pragmatist practitioners and teachers have discussed. I'm assuming that jhana is hinted at by the concentration instruction, and don't know how explicit they will be about that, or the enlightenment aspect, for that matter. But that's what I'm after... concentration ---> getting into jhanas and improving skill, and insight ---> getting enlightened/more enlightened.
As far as talking with instructors, I'm willing to be fairly explicit about jhanas and nanas, or at least how they present themselves, but don't really know what to expect as far as how explicit the instructors will be. I suppose I'll play it by ear, but I'm assuming phenomenological descriptions are a safe bet.
I'm 100% ready to blast this thing to pieces. I've always been able to distract myself when insight practice gets tough, but this will be a golden opportunity to blast through everything that comes up, given the setting of 10 day commitment.
First of all relax a little. You seem to be APing it a bit with the "blast this thing to pieces' angle. Secondly read this again if you have already:
http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/dharma-wiki/-/wiki/Main/ReformedSlackersGuide. Thirdly, if you are going to stray from the goenka instructions, don't be surprised if you are asked to leave the retreat if you divulge that to the teacher. They are most probably aware these days of "hardcore" yogis spouting this and that from MCTB, so don't be surprised if they ask you to drop that and just follow the instructions (or leave the retreat). If you want to use the instructions given on the retreat to your advantage and avoid ruffling the course runner's feathers, then you could follow some of
these tips.
My advice, if you are going to "use and abuse", keep quiet. If your conscience gets the better of you, then follow goenka's instructions to the tee continuously 24/7 at all waking hours and in all positions. Doing so will result in progress to whatever comes next on your path. And finally, relax and enjoy the valuable time doing continuous practice in ideal conditions.
Nick