Well this is a good question and what I've been chewing on for the past few days. Serotonin was a big eye opener. All the work politics and how envy works is becoming crystal clear. Envy = self-referencing + low serotonin + higher cortisol. A lot of stress is gone because my expectations and demands of other people are now more realistic. At work now I'm wondering how I'm affecting serotonin levels in people. Some of it is not even my fault. Just being a new kid on the block will lower co-worker's serotonin levels and increase their cortisol (perceiving a threat). Since I do lots of temporary assignments I get the same reactions every time I'm the new guy. I also notice the longer I stay at an assignment there's already people looking at me as a rival and I sometimes imagine them being defeated by me which requires some vipassana work. Those situations remind me of this LOL!:
Kangaroo KickboxingMost office Christmas parties include all workers (temporary or permanent) but in this latest assignment only permanent workers were allowed and one lady talked about it as "only the important people" as she laughed. SEROTONIN STRIKES AGAIN! Knowing this means I feel less slighted because I know what needs are being fed.
When I disagree with people needlessly (even if I'm right), I see their faces contort but I have an attitude that they should think differently when what they really they want is oxytocin. So many missed opportunities!

I remember on a first day of work at an assignment and I was serious looking, trying to get things done right and a co-worker was pointing out how serious looking I was and she was projecting prior bad workers behaviours on me in the same job I was in. I faked a smile the rest of the day and it worked. I also talked with people more and joked (endorphins) and they eased their tension.
Even when I went for lunch on my first day this one guy thought I was quickly quitting because the boss was a reactive type of woman and tired of training people and I was going to walk out in a huff and puff but I just wanted some sushi. We are network contacts now. This was when equanimity was important. I didn't argue for petty reasons and only discussed things instead of demanded. By the end of the assignment another worker congratulated my survival of this woman (who probably got the other people shit-canned who argued more). The common complaints of the prior workers were stubbornness when proven wrong. When I was wrong about something I just admitted it and moved on.
Another example recently was a woman in the cubicle in front of me. She was under a deadline and the boss was hovering but trying to be nice "is everything okay?" "do you need some help"? He would come back every 5 minutes. Obviously her cortisol was increased.
Basically I have to do the following to improve my social skills at work:
- When in a new job I have to pretend to like the same things that co-workers like [Oxytocin for them].
- I need to ask them their opinion on things more, even if they are tools and their opinion is useless [Serotonin for them].
- I need to mirror pain, even if they are whiny wankers. [Endorphins for them (and me?)]
- I still need to compete and try to dominate more which is very risky and hard to maintain. [Cortisol for them and Serotonin for me or vice versa if I fail]
- I need to befriend more powerful people so I get some backup. [Serotonin for them and me. Possibly oxytocin too] This fits in with Plato's maxim "One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors". I find a lot of successful people at work are a tag-team and start manipulating the people who have less connections. I had a head-hunter call me a "lone wolf". Well, with more equanimity that gets easier and easier which makes me an easy isolated target.
The problem with equanimity is that I'm not mirroring enough pain with other people and I can definitely see that it's a mistake I make time and time again. The equanimity is so strong that when people complain about minor things they see in my body language that I don't care and think they are whiners. They immediately dislike me or find me snobbish. That's going to be one hard habit to break now.
It may sound cynical but people react better to this stuff than logic and making sound sense.