| | Ok, so I thought I'd start a thread and post about some of the things that have helped me immensely in dealing with the DN. Some of the stuff that others post resonates with my experience, and some absolutely does not. That said, other's mileage may vary here. But if you're stuck, this may help.
I have been residing in Equanimity more and more these days. There have been minor/brief bouts of negativity and dissatisfaction, but nothing too bad. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life, ever (that I know of). And, it's getting easier to see how and what causes me to fall back into DN.
I won't reflect too far back. So I'll to stick with recent experiences and insights. I would like to come back and report as I get clearer on things. But only after I get more experience.
1. On dealing with intense DN spells (misery and disgust). Lying down on my bed, breathing, and ignoring the content of mind is what gets me through this. I focus on the connection between in breath and out breath only. I'm not trying to quiet the mind, or concentrate, or escape, I'm simply IGNORING thought until the DN spell passes. And yes, it's important to remember, "This will pass!". After 10-100 times through DN (LOL), you start to realize that it does pass. I've also had success riding my bike and going on walks, but the key is to keep ignoring thought. Some say noting is a good way of dealing with this stuff, but if you really break it down, what you're actually doing is ignoring thought without straining or forceful / unnatural effort.
2. Lately what I've been doing in EQ is noticing how much I love everything that I'm doing and how amazing everything is. I love cleaning, cooking, eating meals, working, taking naps, talking to my room mates, going on walks, driving in my car, and relaxing. Basically what's this has done for me is break down my attachment to specific things. If I can love anything, then it doesn't matter what comes or goes. I no longer need to fear loss, or assert control over the future (which I don't actually have anyways). I can enjoy each moment thoroughly, and the next, and the next. I can't begin to explain how powerful this has been.
3. I've shifted all of my chores and errands to the weekend so I don't have to spend my day through the work week worrying, stressing, or feeling overwhelmed by obligations. I have also stopped making unnecessary commitments, and instead, moving spontaneously, honoring how I feel in the moment. This has cleared my mind immensely.
4. I stopped going out, and I stopped trying to add more shit to my life. No more new hobbies, no chasing girls, routines, practices, and no more looking for things outside of my experience to be happy. Now that all the "doing" has come to a stand still, the mind is clear, and this allows me to see HOW fear (in it's myriad forms) arises as it arises. Now I can get to the root of what's causing my suffering. The difference is night and day. On a stormy sea you can't detect the cause of, much less see, a ripple. But on a calm, waveless pond, you can detect the most subtle of disturbances.
5. In the last point I mentioned staying home. Solitude. I spend my time at home indulging in simple/clean pleasures, relaxing, and just being as cozy as possible. I've been treating myself like a precioius child. Loads of amounts of self care. Cooking and eating healthy food, drinking water, cleaning and doing chores, decorating, taking hot showers, relaxing, and taking naps. This has been massively satisfying.
I'm not real sure about developing concentration or doing inquiry/vippassana at this stage. Hopefully soon I'll get clearer on this. In DN, I have not found any amount of meditation or inquiry useful at all. My experience has been that the more I meditate, the more attached I become to it, and throughout the day I think about doing meditation at home rather than engaging in what I'm doing. I have yet in all my years of practice found formal meditation useful at all (except maybe a handful of times).
That's all I got for now. |