I try to review things that I might possibly consider unattractive about myself. Castaneda considers physical appearance to be the one main thing that traps and binds the mind, but in a broader sense, anything that could be considered an achievement or possession (including "possessing" a relationship) could potentially bind the mind. I guess everyone knows that anyway, but I wasn't aware that appearance was so problematic.
Right, I get you. Isn't that a gargantuan undertaking though? What's your desired outcome from this practice?
By words like "acheivement" and "possession" am I right in thinking that you're talking about attatchment to phenomena?
Do
you consider physical appearance to be one of the main things that traps and binds the mind? Is so, why is this?
I aim to 'take back' and 'own' any aspects of myself that I have rejected and create a strong healthy self that way. I equate "rejection" with "lack of non-judgmental attention", so what i do in the practice is pay that much-needed attention to those aspects. I'm aiming to 'own' my whole self, every part of it, especially the bits I don't necessarily like. I believe that my previous difficulties with meditation have been caused by failing to prepare myself with a strong self-acceptance. My mind is stuck on what's not perfect.
What do you mean by "own"? Are you talking about becoming aware of these aspects existing and accepting them?
How do you intend to correct or alter those things which are, in your words, no perfect?
My ego doesn't want me to accept anything but perfection in appearance and achievement, so by accepting it, I figure I disempower it, opening the way for a quiet mind and concentration practice.
If you want some advice about moving on to concentration practice then here it is: You don't really silence the mind. There are beneficial things such as being relaxed, mindful and present in the moment but the mind still does it's thing 'cause you're focussing on something which isn't thought. If you pick the breath, focussing on it to work on concentration does not require anything more than consistent practice because all you're doing is watching the breath (and if it helps, counting from one to ten then restarting). If you loose your place, start again and don't think you're an idiot or beat yourself up over it 'cause it's sooooo not worth it. You
will see your concentration improve if you do this and practice, practice, practice, I absolutely guarantee it.
Good concentration is essential and will help you to no end, if you're finding that you're having difficulty exploring these less pleasent aspects of your "self" then work on concentration first. It will help. I can't make it any plainer than that.
I'm trying to work out how to incorporate humour into my practice, because I think it has some special way of breaking through blocks.
Yes, yes, a thousand million times yes. Well, for me anyway but others may disagree. Such is life. Want to know the quickest way to incoporate humour into practice? Learn to laugh at yourself. There's nothing wrong with thinking "Shit, I really acted like a total idiot there" and, instead of feeling ashamed or embarrassed, laughing at yourself and thinking of another way to view the situation. It makes you feel much better about things if you can laugh at the absurdity of the world, the foolishness of robotic people and how utterly random and bizarre events in life can seem. If not, you can wander down conspiracy theories, paranoia and a negative outlook for a long time before learning there's nothing worth knowing down that way. Been there, almost drove myself bonkers by taking on that reality-tunnel and it took me quite a while to learn that simple lesson.
While I haven't tried illegal drugs, I don't rule them out. It's not the illegality that would stop me, it's the potential for further damage. I need more research on that before I'd go there, and if I did, it would be on a "one-off" basis I think.
First thing I'd say is that I don't encourage anyone, particularly anyone with a pre-existing psychological condition, predisposition towards anxiety/panic attacks or any other major mental or emotional traumas, to explore this path. It is a very high-speed, unpredictable path which is potentially rewarding while being just as likely to leave one unable to function in the real-world for a long time. I'm deadly serious, I've explored meditation and magick using a variety of substances with varying degrees of success and there's a tightrope between learning and loosing the plot which I would rather not advise someone to walk. That said, if someone were to choose to engage in such a thing then I can suggest two things:
1. Learn as much as you can about what you're thinking of doing, read everything from Erowid to genuine medical studies and don't bullshit yourself. If you feel you're not ready for it,
do not do it. Educate yourself as much as you possibly can, ask questions, join forums, get as much information as you can before you do anything else.
2. There are three main things to remember - Set, Setting, Dosage: Set refers to your own mindset, know yourself and how you feel about what you're doing. Take the appropriate steps to establish physical comfort, mental relaxation and whatever you need to do to feel as comfortable (in every sense) as you want to be. Setting refers to physical surroundings, be somewhere you know and where you're safe. This is majorly important and make all the difference. Be in the company of someone you can trust, a sitter, and avoid doing these things alone if possible as it can make all the difference. Dosage refers to how much you're taking which, unfortunately, is rarely taken into consideration by many but the most scientifically inclined of psychonauts. Control the dosage whenever possible. Know what you're taking, how much and keep records.
This raises an important point, obtaining whatever substance you're talking about. Without going into the legal implications, you would rarely, if ever, know exactly what the pure percentage of content of a substance purchased on the street is so avoid this as much as possible. Most entheogens can be purchased legally through various sites so do some research and go back to point 1. again and again.
Yeah, me too.....Ha!