Hi Edoardo
There's a detailed critique of many models of enlightenment on-line at the wiki:
MCTB (scroll down).
In particular, the notion that personal issues will go away upon enlightenment, or that enlightenment equals some kind of personal perfection, is discussed there.
Work on expressing clearly what exactly it is you have found, by writing it down, for example, or discussing it with someone. The added intellectual clarity can make a huge difference.
If you are not satisfied with whatever it is you have found for yourself, here are a couple of suggestions:
- Investigate "AF", an Actual Freedom from the Human Condition (also discussed on the Dharma Overground). This is much closer in many ways to what you seem to be looking for.
- Listen to "The End of Your World" by Adyashanti. He takes on quite a few of the issues you mention. I hear Tolle is good, too, in the situation you find yourself.
- Talk about it - you already started doing that by posting here. Integration is a huge topic, but fortunately, there are quite a few people here who can relate to what you are saying.
Cheers,
Florian