| | This tends to happen when my practice gets really heated up. I get into a very equanimical state, I'm pretty unflappable and alcohol just does me in. I mean doesn't matter, just one or two drinks, I find myself down, I find myself in what feels like the Dark Night nanas. This is when I am usually sensitive to things like suffering, the moment, I start becoming more and more compassionate to people, my metta gear gets changed into high gear and it takes alot to feel all those feelings with no regard to getting sucked into them.
This actually happened yesterday, I went out and had two drinks at a meet and greet type thing. I look around and see people just blurring their edges, blurring their perceptions, I find this is the primary effect of alcohol on people, at least myself, although loss of some inhibition takes place, mostly people become less sensitive and the mechanism of positive feedback becomes blurred.
Anyhow, I finish up my 2 drinks, head home, decide to meditate. I only was able to meditate for a few minutes, before deciding to lay down (I had a 12 hour work day). I was laying down and in my usual way, I was observing my thoughts as they were coming up, the funny part about it was the parallels between the story of Buddha's awakening and what went on next. I was laying there any my thoughts were coming to me, I was staying detached from the content, but the content was alluring, it's like my brain kept feeding me stuff to allure me, my mind kept saying, this isn't you, it won't help, it's unsatisfactory. I felt stronger against the nature of these thoughts, I also realized I was more concentrated and seeing them more purely, after laying down for a while I decided to get up and do some work around my place and then I started getting sucked into them again as I wasn't as mindful.
Overall I realize this is the acute effect of alcohol on my mind when I am more into the general "flow of things". Just wanted to know anybody else's experiences or thoughts. |