December 6th
40 minutes noting. Anticipation was noted often as I snuck this session into a busy time slot.
That night: Massive headache and painful exhaustion. I tried to keep myself focused on the pain, but I can't claim this was done any better or worse than the next person who just happens to have a headache: At times you tune it out, at times it's all there is.
December 7th
40 minutes noting. Laying. Music was heard from roommates rooms, and physical sensations from comfort, and pain, to temperature. Fell asleep before end of session, which was "allowed" b/c still sick.
December 8th
40 minutes noting
very snotty, running nose. had to note emotions associated with physical grossness, like shame being snot faced and pride of being unashamed of being snotfaced.
I also started to see that some of the series of notes that I normally experience as a set were being "forced" into sets as a habit. Example: Pain or discomfort often becomes worse because there is a fear or worry or more of the same, plus bodily injury. So I often note "pain - fear - pain - worry". But there are particular instances where I was going through the habit of certain logical emotional and thought sequences, rather than truly NOTING what I was experiencing at each moment.
Fitter Stoke:
Also, in my opinion, perhaps noting is not the best way to deal with sexual/relationship problems, at least not at this point in your practice. In my experience, those sorts of things are better dealt with in the conventional ways.
Thank you for your thoughts, as always, Fitter Stroke. In my experience, I haven't dealt with issues from this. Let me speak to both the personal and interrelation aspects.
Personal: If I am having intimate knowledge of myself, there is often aspects of shame, and also of craving. These can sort of consume the act at times, and so I'd rather note them. I realize there are practices in many traditions that concentrate on increasing the feelings of pleasure rather than cultivating the acceptance of each thought and feeling, but I haven't had guidance in that and I'm poor at it.
Interpersonal: There are cases where the other personal is not so affect (attraction to a coworker, let's say), and cases where another person is being "shut out" by practice. In my last relationship, I would go into practice mode occasionally, when we where in a group let's say, walking, and something had troubled me or us. I would apologize and ask if I was being cold whenever I went into practice mode, but was told that I was fine. I was explicit about my practice and receptive to criticisms about how it affected our relationship, but did not receive them. I have found myself to be less passive aggressive and generally more content this way, with less expectation on others.
I do agree that the "conventional ways" are not too be neglected. I think it's important to be receptive to an interaction and not just tune someone out as nothing but a series of sensory stimulus, and think that a relationship is often about, well, consent. How practice can be added to a relationship in a "safe, sane, & consensual" manner, as our brothers and sisters with leather wings would say.
Of course, you're thoughts are still welcome on this. Let me know if you think I should save those things of this nature for other sections of this site and focus here on practice.