Pål S.:
While with the zap it's like awareness is present in the boot-down which stops the fruition from happening. When the boot-down reaches a critical point this dim awareness halts the process and sparks the mind back to normal operation.
This is exactly how I experienced it after a really huge first zap. The huge zap was like being struck by lightening, and I nearly fell off my cushion. (Is there a name for this? I've always wondered.) That first big zap happened during the second day of a "determination", a period of 48 hours of meditation with no sleep, only eating, bathroom, and seeing my teacher. After the zap, there was only an intensely bright and alert state that didn't go away for a very long time. I wasn't able to sleep and didn't feel the need to.
Further into that same retreat, the function you described the zap having was replaced with something like my heart skipping a beat, like it was giving a big "chug".
When describing it to my teacher (Thai monk), he wanted to discuss it with me the following day. He indicated it was a "ceasing", but ceasing of
what exactly...
my life? I was able to move past that point, and it was not a problem for the rest of the retreat. Towards the end of the retreat, I was experiencing somewhat regular blackouts, some short, some up to an hour, always followed by a deeply peaceful feelings, giddiness and sometimes laughter for no reason I can describe.
Now that I'm back into meditating more intensely at home, I'm regularly encountering the first jhana, nearly every day, and the second jhana a few times each week. The heart chugging has returned, and it still happens mostly during meditations, or whenever mindfulness is dropping. I'm compelled to continue practicing, but struggling to integrate these into my everyday life. I find myself trying to avoid the jhana states as a result of all this :-/
I've been reading for a while, but am otherwise brand spanking new on DhO. Is there a particular forum or person you suggest I speak with about this?