Julie,
I have been dealing with the morality question (and karma maybe) in the past couple of weeks. It was basically something I did long time ago that basically was not so right like cheating on the exam.
Remorse can be an unwholesome mental state if it buries us in more subsequent unwholesome mental states (like continuously flogging oneself or causing one to "sorrow over what as been done and what has not been done" and growing the unwholesome state of conceit by way of causing one to constantly think "I'm a failure" and/or develop a fierce self-hatred, envy of others...etcetera [1].
Or one could recognize their remorse (etymology: to re-bite and re-bite) and develop one's wholesome and beautiful mental factors such as conscientiousness,
hiri (respect for self and others, more care in thought, speech, and action), moral dread (a memory of how one's immoral action caused a long-lasting pain and thus one shies from such action again), and one could instead focus on germinating the seeds of wholesome and beautiful mental factors: geminating and watering generosity/non-greed, metta/non-hate, proficiency in letting unwholesome mental state seeds remain dormant through lack of feeding them and proficiency in having faith in one's precepts/moral trainings and sati (sati as both a guardian over one's mental factors and what is arising as well as sati being an active presence and quality of mind relating to all phenomenas that we encounter/realize), which sati and precepts' faith can cause tranquility and lightness of mind and these help the mind become wakeful and not sluggish and help the mind to be equanimous. These can support the mind's flexibility and wholesome wieldiness and thereby not let the mind become rigidly stuck to any one thing conceitedly or divisively or with clinging, e.g., as unwholesome self-flogging or as clinging even to the knowledge of dependent origination. The wholesome and beautiful mental states can lead one to have, despite one's previous actions, consistency in wholesome, unregrettable conduct, confidence in rectitude/non-hypocrisy. From a field of well-developed wholesome and beautiful mental states, one may deal better with the consequences of one's previous and unwholesome actions should such consequences arise. One will be well-trained and practiced to deal better with any hard situations, even fluently operating with wholesome and beautiful mental states.
What do you think?
It was generous of you to share your hard experience. Thank you. I respond as much to you as to myself and others who understand your feeling and experience. One of the Buddha's teachings is that one is not locked into some kamma deterministically; one has creative responsibility for contributing to extant dhammas, like current events and consequences, as one's mind is the forerunner of all things. So this welcomes one to take up wholesome, liberating changes. That's nice. :o)
Best wishes and thank you for your post.
_______
[1] and [2] these comments on wholesome and unwholesome and beautiful mental factors from from
Abhidhamma Sangaha, a Comprehensive Manual of Abhidhamma, published by BPS Pariyatti Editions, mainly pages 83-88. I'm just back from a retreat on the Theravadan Adhidhamma and Ven. Bodhi made this challenging compendium warm and accessible, practical to daily life and situations like the one you raised, as well as the class being immensely engaging and often hilarious.