Hello,
I have been reading MTCB for the past few days but cannot find where I stand on the maps at the moment. Most likely, I am not familiar enough with them yet --
Background - Practicing meditation for about 15 months, typically 30 - 45 min per day
- Practice based on MBSR, so with plenty of breath-meditation, noting and body-scan
- Going to my first real retreat in about one month (Goenka)
"Highest" achievement or maybe I should say
"strangest" stuff that happened to me Toward the end of a one-day meditation workshop (not to say "retreat"), a couple of months ago, I was sitting with my eyes half-closed and experienced:
- Very clear sensations, with excellent vision, hearing, ability to distinguish finely between the different touch-points on my knees, bottom, feet, hands on my thighs etc.
- Not sure if I had a complete lack of focus (all sensations felt "equally strong", none was prominent) or if my attention was very pointed but shifting from one area to another very fast
- Extreme calmness. I could observe everything around me and not feel reactive at all. Is this equanimity?
- An odd separation between mind and body and at the same time a feeling of "It's all the same". I would consciously note sensations like "hearing", "feeling", "touch" while a small voice followed immediately with "Hey, you just had a mental process that made you aware of a physical sensation", immediately followed by "And this is a mental note about a mental note -- just so you are aware" immediately followed by "This self-referential noting could never end, you know, it's all the same". Followed by a new physical sensation...
- Sensation that time passed -- if only because sensations came and went -- but no idea of how long I stayed in that state
- After a while, it felt... well, not boring but rather that I had explored it enough. So I closed my eyes, shifted my focus back to the breath and it felt like a very standard meditation
Limitation I have not been able to replicate this state since. To note that my day-to-day workoad has increased and so I only practice for 20 min. per day at the moment -- and it might be more for relaxation than insight.
Questions Where does this fit in the maps?
Looking forward to the retreat, anything I should emphasize or be aware of?
For normal practice (ie, not the retreat), anything I should emphasize or be aware of?
Many thanks !
s.