| | I've recently decided to practice more vipassana, in the past I could knock up states of jhana whenever I wanted, however they were temporary escapes, and they also took a lot of effort to maintain.
In an effort to not be such a dissenter in this community, and to gain more acceptance, I've decided to practice vipassana. The first experience of which I will log for you here, right now:
I practiced while sitting in my office chair, at first there was that background worrying (which is always present) and that inner narration of how I would write this post (I'm very self-asborbed), I entered a state of jhana and observed the peacefulness of it, the mind-body shift occurred when I became aware of my thinking about thinking, essentially. I marvelled at observing my thought stream, and too be honest, the whole session was quite pleasant.
There were a couple of profound experiences: the sensation of knots untying in the head (some primordial tensions), the absence of the sensation of self (usually a heaving 'being'), the penetration and thus de-solidifying of the sensation of self, which collapses usually when you attend to it inappropriately.
As I vipassanized deeper, it became easier to not have setbacks while meditating, because I became AWARE of the setbacks, and thus was put back on track. So instead of spirally into proliferation, the problems were killing themselves off.
The entire session was pervaded by a nice, very pleasant energy, not to heavy, but not vibrant and tingly (piti), more pleasant, like sukha.
More tmorrow, and possibly later today,
James
Edit:
My speculation is that I may be hanging around the A&P, as I there is a nice unsolid, fine vibratory sensation to what I experience. As opposed to the really hard, friction-y experience of my past (when I did noting when I was a teen). Furthermore I've experiencing some pretty epic disgust (prior to today), I speculate that my certainty of being the 'Tathagata' might have been an A&P symptom.
I'm primarily certain that I 'broke through' in December and thus have been cycling ever since. But due to my neglect of practice and my irresponsible attitude towards this community I haven't been able to make much practice, either that or my progress is really, really, slow and painful. |