| | Author: JamesAlexander
Very often, while lying in bed, or especially while standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom, I would have these intense "Who the FUCK am I" experiences. I emphazise the FUCK, because the sudden arising of the question and the feeling that followed was very unpleasant. It would last maybe for 10 to 60 second, then subside. Today I see a parallel to insight practice. When investigating the "no -self" characteristics of my own subjectivity I come across the same experience: Who the FUCK am I?
While lying in bed I would often have strange perceptual experiences, like the room closing in on me, walls bulging and a sense of everything in my immediate experience being crushed together (a bit like tunnel visioning). I've come across lot of the same stuff when my shamata and insight practice intensifies. |