katy steger:
If a male friend approached you and knew you had recently lost this indulgence in a nearly effortless, natural way and then asked for your help with the exact same issue that he was having, would you tell him exactly what happened to you, would you listen to them without judgement/ or with judgement, would you share your own understanding/would you withhold your understanding of the compulsion and its personal effects? Would you be nowhere near compassionate in such a case? What do you think is compassionate?
Also you've mentioned connectedness: as in "I don't see how we're all connected" and value ("I don't see life as particularly valuable"), and the Karaniya Metta. What are the specific words in that sutta that resonate with you? Have you read a few translations? Whose is your preferred? I'm not asking in a book-club favorites way but to understand what aspect of metta in that sutta has your interest/concern.
1) I thought about that in that way... the thing is, I couldn't even imagine it happen to me. Sometimes I doubt it has really happened, but then I try to arouse the feeling of sexual want. I feel it, but it is very distant. I'm still having a hard time believing it. I'd advise my friend to try to practice metta, if only because I read it helps... which is why I'm here asking for a method.
2) The words that resonate with me, or better those I feel most distant from, are:
Think: Happy, at rest,
may all beings be happy at heart.
Whatever beings there may be,
weak or strong, without exception,
long, large,
middling, short,
subtle, blatant,
seen & unseen,
near & far,
born & seeking birth:
May all beings be happy at heart.
Let no one deceive another
or despise anyone anywhere,
or through anger or resistance
wish for another to suffer.
As a mother would risk her life
to protect her child, her only child,
even so should one cultivate a limitless heart
with regard to all beings.
With good will for the entire cosmos,
cultivate a limitless heart:
Above, below, & all around,
unobstructed, without hostility or hate.
Whether standing, walking,
sitting, or lying down,
as long as one is alert,
one should be resolved on this mindfulness.
This is called a sublime abiding
here & now.
I feel very distant to these words. The translation is from Thanissaro Bhikkhu's. Which is why I'm here asking for a method...
However,
I think I have my answer now.
I'm going to practice for two weeks according to Bhante V's instructions. If it works even remotely, good. I'll stick to it. If not, I'll try Bhante Sujato's method, and then I'm going to stick with whichever method worked better. In any case, I start my practice now.
Thank you all for your answers and your time! Have a blessed day