I was thinking the other day - I do animal rescue, and I have this soft spot for the large, black-haired dogs that people don't want to adopt. Maybe that is where my black wolf came from?
Still, I am going to read about shamanism.
I would like to explain the way I feel about Zen, to you from an insider's perspective:
"Just sitting" leaves you open to all kinds of experiences. The key is you just observe what is happening and don't make too much of it. The main thing teachers will correct is your posture, and then you are left on your own!
But, there is that collective energy of compassion of love that comes from sitting, and the ceremony (the other place where a lot of direction from the teacher goes on) has the same feeling. I feel like I pick up on everyone's energy/vibe/whatever, and every session has a different energy depending on who is there.
There is also a lot of subtle humor in Zen that is really fun.
I guess I can't say it is not organized, monastic, and clinical, but when you hit the sweet spot (of course, I can't tell you how

) it is truly sublime.
Anyway, not lecturing to you, just letting you know what I've experienced.