Pawel: The source of your anxiety is the same as the source of your love. And yes, it is who "you" really are: an internally fabricated sense of identity.
Actual freedom is about removing this source entirely. Is that clear to you now pawel? It just goes away, *poof*, *kaput*.
If you want to become actually free, then you'll find this website, and the AF trust website, very useful.
If you instead want to feel love and ecstasy 99% of the time, know that this is also possible. 100% is impossible because, like I said, love and hate emanate from the same place. If you want this, then I recommend that you go to:
http://www.aypsite.comAnd learn the lessons there. They're all about love, surrendering, doing what you want, etc.
Really, it's your choice, and it's all been done before.
If you would like to make a better informed decision about what you would like to do, I recommend that you read:
1. the AF trust website (
http://www.actualfreedom.com.au), on one hand, how they write, what they write about, what their reality view is, and
2. the AYP website (
http://www.aypsite.com), on the other hand, how the guru and people there write, what they writes about, and what their reality view is.
Both of these resources are good and to-the-point, in the sense that they are strongly practice-oriented, and have a real achievement mentality --- they don't claim any sort of vaguely defined super spiritual/mental achievement, they both offer their mind-changing goals as something that is attainable by normal people like you and me, and tell you the practice you need to do to get there.
Then you should be ready to make a choice, just make it and go along with it. Remember that you can give both practices a try for a few months, and see which one produces the results you like best.
I hope that settles your question for good?
Bye,
Bruno