Ah the practicing sincerity really spoke to an experience i had this morning, although i wasn't aware it was sincerity as such.
Trent H.:
Practicing sincerity: Let’s say an identification is found, say…something that elicits a fear response in you (it could be any feeling).
walking to the subway, i just don't feel good or happy, but instead tired, wanting to reach for something (Enlightenment etc)...
Trent H.:
Perhaps you are finding it now because you’re ready to be honest about it, whereas before you weren’t quite ready to inspect that side of yourself. So you give it a good looking over… you ponder what it’s like to feel fear as you think about whatever it is causing the fear. Maybe you wonder what it would be like to let go of it, and so on. You eventually decide that it is necessary to let go of it now for whatever reason or non-reason[1] you decide upon.
i want to feel good. this is the only moment of being alive, so feeling good must happen now. and why not feel good? so i definitely must feel good.
Trent H.:
Then you might say to yourself “ok…well… now I’m going to do it…” and then you try (to let go of it).
i just decide that the feeling bad is silly, it's not worth identifying with, and i try to let go and look at the actual world around me
Trent H.:
Then there will be an experience of a nonverbal cognitive event—the feeling of trying whatever you intended to try—in this case, to stop being afraid of something you’re afraid of. Two outcomes can come from this. Either you recoil into yourself (the feeling of aversion) and begin an odd dialogue about the situation, or you side-track yourself on some tangential thought, or you become confused, or whatever. The other outcome is that you gain a relative clarity for a moment, like the world opens a bit wider, or your head or soul feels a bit lighter, or you suddenly feel better (no more fear, in this case), or you have a sense of relief, etc.
yep, the world became a bit brighter, a bit crisper, a bit lighter, and for a few seconds i felt good, until i started thinking about stuff again...
Trent H.:
The latter is sincerity, and the former is just an instance of not being able to be sincere during that attempt to let go of the identification (so just try again immediately after you realize that)
ah try again, i should. i dont know why it is "sincerity", which is why i quoted it in the title, though.. i guess i really did honestly/sincerely want to feel good and happy, and i really did sincerely realize the identification causing it was not useful, and then i did sincerely let it go for at least those few seconds until my mind wandered again.