The question, "Does enlightenment make you a better person?" is a valuable one--though maybe it the question itself needs to be considered, as Daniel and Ian have both pointed out.
To begin with, "enlightened jerk" is definitely not an oxymoron. An ancient Zen koan touches on this subject when it asks: "A clearly enlightened person falls into a well. How is this so?"
I'm very fond of Suzuki Roshi's take on enlightenment: "Strictly speaking there are no enlightened individuals, only enlightened activities." And then another quote from a meditation teacher I knew who said, "
You won't get enlightened. Enlightment is more like a view, a place from which you have a certain perspective."
Post SE, this is my take: based on what I've read and heard and on my own experience of practice, "enlightenment" (assuming we even agree on what that means) doesn't seem to change the personality as far as its habits/psychological tropes, just the view available to that personality. Neurosis just keeps chug-chug-chugging along. On the other hand, sincere practice of daily-life sati/mindfulness is powerful stuff in this regard, particularly when combined with thoughtful attention to
sila. I think
sila needs to be developed with an eye towards integrity (that is, really walking your talk). It took me awhile to get this one, but good
sila recognizes in a very deep way that we are conditioned beings and that our mindstates are the results of causes and conditions--some of which we have control over. Properly developed, well considered
sila is really beautiful and can be a source of great peace in one's life--and feeling peaceful is pretty great.
Some time ago, when I became adept at stilling/concentrating my mind, I spoke with a teacher (who I consider to be very highly realized). He told me I that I was at a fork in the road, that I could develop the path of concentration, or the path of mindfulness. I asked which he recommended, and he replied, "Mindfulness. It's more useful to you in daily-life." So mindfulness is a two-fold training. Properly applied on the cushion and off it will lead you all the way to enlightenment. If you are sincere and honest with yourself (which is rough going sometimes), it will also give you the tools to notice when "you're being a jerk", (or whatever unskillful territory you're in) and as time goes by, you'll find that you actually have a choice in the matter
(if that's a goal for you). Attending mindfully to the feeling tone (vedena), view, mindstate, sensations, etc. of "being a jerk", instead of judging them and getting defensive about how rightful or wrongful you are, is both good practice and a good opportunity to smooth your rough edges--both internally as you experience them and externally as others do.
I think bill of the wandering mind is really right on:
bill of the wandering mind:
Being a not-yet stream enterer so you know where I come from, I will add that an intelligently done practice like noting or mindfulness of the body/mind can change you even if you never get to SE or beyond. I've only been sitting everyday for 5 years now but If I die tomorrow it will have not been a waste. Not at all. I am more open, have less anxiety, and am better able to love my friends and family now. YMMV of course, but I consider the journey to be just as worthwhile as the goal ;p
In Zen, there is a compound word for practice-realization. Realization is inseparable from practice. Practice doesn't end with realization, but is on-going. Being kind, available and present for the people in my life is important to me, and that's part of my path of practice. Resistance to those qualities provides opportunities to be mindful and to investigate all sorts of things that inflate the "self": conceit, separation, anger, duality, views. Rough territory with all sorts of
unpleasant sensations. It's not for the faint of heart.
Regards,
Bruno
Edited to add: Jack Kornfield's "After the Ecstasy, the Laundry" considers these issues in depth. It is based on interviews Kornfield conducted with very experienced practitioners from diverse traditions. It looks squarely at some of the troubling aspects of this, ie: really messed-up behavior by highly realized teachers. It also clearly reflects Jack Kornfield's "path with heart" type of outlook--whether that works for you or not, it's a valuable resource.