I have booked a 10 day retreat in may.
You sure you're up for that? I don't know you other than through the brief interaction on this forum, but if you have concerns about your own mental stability then I would advise against it, for the moment at least until you've done a few months of vipassana practice at home and had a chance to see how stages like the A&P or Re-Observation feel 'cause, even for someone with no psychological issues, they can still be pretty intense.
Sadly the retreat will work as something to hang up to, until the time i'll actually do it and realize it doesn't "heal" me.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. No, a retreat will most certainly not "heal" you and this is the reason why both me and Claudiu are saying the same thing. If you want to "heal" your "self" then go get some therapy from a qualified professional, don't sit down and pick apart the very thing you're trying to repair because that's what vipassana is all about. Insight is about seeing through fundamental attachment to phenomena, not about hanging on. If you approach a vipassana retreat with that attitude then you'll make no progress, and quite possibly leave yourself worse off than you are right now so, for your own sake, think twice about your plans.
Please tell me if the way can be approached from a f* up mind too, if i should do something in particular, or avoid doing something.
Yes, the way can be approached with a fucked up mind. Talk to some people on here or on Kenneth Folk's website who deal with mental illness and see what they're saying. Be realistic with yourself and don't bite off more than you can chew 'cause you just might end up flat on your ass in a psych ward. Avoid vipassana until you've worked on some concentration practice, that's about all I could recommend.
Y'know, I don't usually suggest this but it might be worth looking into Actual Freedom, vipassana is hard going and sometimes painful although it's my own preferred path at present. Claudiu knows his stuff and is good at explaining it in so perhaps he could comment on this. It may very well be more suited to you but I could be wrong.
Take care and keep us posted.