Andre V Calixto:
Hi, I am very new this (just starting concentration practice). Had a scary experience today and could really use some advice.
Problem started here: i started to imagine a white light coming in through the top of my head and filling my body. Then started to project this light out as a loving-kindness light to all family members and friends. Then, my hands, neck, whole body started to solidify and inflate and i felt everything three times as thick (particularly my hands and neck) and i felt EXTREMLY heavy. Also felt ridgid, as if i was literally made of solid stones. Then my heart rate started to speed up a lot, i became veyr anxious and broke out of the meditation. I got up and walked around to calm down and could still feel that heavy and swollen sensation for a few minutes.
Andre,
It's very easy when beginning to practice meditation (especially in situations where there is no one to supervise one's practice) to allow the mind's imagination to wander and project images and various other phenomena as you are still trying to figure out what all this is about. However, this is not what Buddhist meditation is about at all.
You would do well to find someone experienced in meditation to help guide your practice. That way they can keep you from going off on a wild tangent.
If you're not able to do that, then you need to slow things down and get back to the basics of what you're supposed to be doing while meditating. Meditation the way that Gotama taught it is used to quiet and calm the mind down. It is used to eventually be able to "see things as they are" once the quieted mind is no longer restless and has attained a stronger hold on mindfulness. Strengthening mindfulness (
sati) is the goal here. With strong mindfulness, accomplishing almost anything with the mind is possible.
The whole point of using meditation to help and assist one with the realization of the Dhamma is based upon being able to get a grip on the mind, to stop its "monkey mind" wandering and restlessness and to begin being able to focus the attention on a single object or subject in order to examine and evaluate it more clearly. Such states necessarily entail having some semblance of control over the mind, not letting it wander and being able to direct it toward the observation of phenomena without it starting off in another direction.
Rather than using visualizations, Gotama taught the direct observation of the breath itself as the primary object of his observation. If you endeavor to accomplish that, you will find that it is not always as easy as it sounds. Following the breath can be very difficult, especially for a beginning student of meditation.
You would do well to drop whatever it is you
think you should be doing and get back to basics. The following essay might help to direct you to do just that:
Anapana Sati, Meditation on Breathing. Try doing this for a while and see how it goes.
In peace,
Ian