Hey all,
I found the Hardcore Direct Pointing thread very thought provoking and interesting. I was often attracted to the idea, the idea that it is simply there, facing us all the time. It's a very pleasant idea, very tempting.
But there is this belief that consumes me, that I can't seem to shake off. It stops me from fully engaging with the process of enquiry, it and it goes like this:
EVERY SINGLE TIME I read the story of someone enlightened, whether a spiritual teacher, or someone who claimed to have "seen", and posts here or elsewhere that seem genuine; EVERY SINGLE TIME without fail, you can see that they have been through some preparatory work.
Usually it is drugs (LSD, mushrooms, Ayahuasca etc), often it is some kind of special, out of the ordinary experience in the childhood or younger years. And of course, there are all the spiritual seekers, who have sat for years upon years.
And the ultimate HYPOCRISY is that almost all of them, then go on saying that all the work was unnecessary. That they just didn't know where to look. It seems as if, upon awakening, one has lost the ability to communicate effectively. One doesn't know where to look; and then it happens on its own, and then one doesn't know how to tell others. This may be a language problem, as Alan Watts pointed out, that our minds are too simple. But surely language can adequately convey that WORK must be done, LOTS of it. That it doesn't happen just like that, certainly not for anyone one willing to be seriously looking for a couple weeks or so. Language can convey that. Language is enough to convey truth instead of hypocrisy and the lies.
What's the point of this post? Well I genuinely am desperate for someone to shatter this belief. I can't seem to shake it off. It could be disproved simply through logic, because it is simply an observation, not a "realization".
Do you know anyone "awake" (seen that there is no "self") who has genuinely NEVER been through any special kind of experience, who has NEVER taken any sorts of drugs, who has NEVER done any serious amount of meditation?Of course now I could turn this all over and say, but look Fabrice... you're being silly... it is "I" who wants to believe this. It is "I" who is putting away the work of looking, holding onto this belief.
Really? Is it really that stupid? That simple? "I" don't believe it, because I also want to see TRUTH as it really is. And the real, absolute TRUTH that I am seeing, is that without fail, every single story of awakened person I have read involves some type of special experiences, drugs, or many years of meditation.
And you might say, "what does it matter", "get started now or you'll never get there". True, it may be a philosophical argument, mental masturbation. But I also want to point out a flagrant DISHONESTY here on the part of the awakened. Like Jeff Foster. God this guy is annoying. He is like the poster child of useless, pointless so called "teachers". He admitted himself in interviews that he went through a 2-3 years period of seeking, meditation, and then goes on to say all that was not necessary.
There just seems like there is nothing we can do. And for those of us who are already so TIRED of dragging this "me" along, it is very depressing. Very depressing to think, that it just won't happen now or anytime soon. It won't happen by willing it. That I understand. How many more years, how many more tears?

It's not waiting that bothers me. My passions and will for the most part have fallen down. I'm useless. I have no will to do any of the things I used to enjoy, making computer games, listening to music and so on. Adyashanti says that is the stage, that in this "falling down" is the flowering of this new state of being. GREAT!
And yet at the same time, there is the story of the drunken guys rowing all night. They forgot to untie the rope. We all know these guys on the Vipassana mailing lists, celebrating their 2nd or 3rd year of daily one hour mediation. Some of them have been doing that for ten plus years, even the MCTB book talks about it.
So much doubt. How do you know you're doing the right thing when you can NOT do anything? And not doing anything might just leave you in the same place, twenty years later?

Sorry just venting off... sometimes it helps..