Thanks for taking the time to answer to the noobs, Tommy
We've all been there mate, I'm happy to help if I can.
When I am talking about access concentration, I usually think about descriptions like the one on Kenneth Folk's page here: http://kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Access+Concentration
So basically a clear and sudden shift into some kind of "bubble" that keeps most of the sensual perceptions and even thoughts out or at least at a good distance. I guess this suddenness is what I am still missing, but maybe you are right and indeed it is all a lot more subtle than I expected.
Kenneth's great, I highly recommend getting a one-on-one lesson with him via Skype if you can as he's a really good teacher.
One of the best ways I can think of to describe access concentration is that it's like when you're reading a book and become totally absorbed in it, to the exclusion of all other stimuli like the sound of the television, your partner talking to you (usually followed shortly after by some sort of projectile being launched at you, in my experience....) or the phone ringing. You don't really notice it until you're there, does that make any sense?
The best way to get there if you're struggling is to count the breath at the end of each exhalation. So, you're breathing in, releasing the breath and as your lungs empty you count "1". This is repeated up to 10 and then the count begins at one again, and the best thing about it is that as soon as you realize you've lost count, you're mindful of the slip up and can mindfully return to the breath as before.
My description of access concentration, which is attainable by concentration on bare attention once you've done some practice, is this (described as I enter it): With the eyes closed I focus on the part of the nostril where the air enters and exits, as I do this my attention becomes very narrow on this spot and my eye focus falls in towards the bridge of the nose. This causes a sense of release at the top of my shoulders and warm, blissful feelings begin in my hands and face which, if I pay attention to them exclusively, will lead into 1st jhana. There's a sense of attention being wrapped around your object once you're there, sounds still happen as do other sensations but the focus is firmly fixed on your object. You immediately notice if you're distracted and can quickly return to this focus.
From there, you can either focus on the pleasantness of the bliss and rapturous feeling, or begin noting.
I still hope for things to get a lot more effortless though, as it really feels like a struggle to me. I've already accepted that you have to just allow thoughts to some degree, but they kinda keep fighting for the "center" of my attention, thereby pushing my concentration object (the breathing) way out into the periphery or even completely away from my field of awareness, again and again. This keeping the breath in the center for extended periods of time (and I am talking only a couple of minutes here) feels strenuous, I can't put it another way.
Please dont tell me it's going to stay that way forever, isn't the point of all this that someday suddenly this effort falls away and it all becomes really light and easy?
There is effort involved in getting to access concentration and then in the 1st jhana, but once you move into 2nd jhana then this sense of effort falls away. Try this link for some more info on the factors of the jhanas:
http://www.leighb.com/jhana_4factors.htm
I think you might be making this a bit more difficult than it needs to be as your descriptions sound like you should be getting to 1st jhana. Words like "struggle", "fighting", "pushing" and "strenuous" suggest to me that you're maybe applying a bit too much force here, if you continue like this then all you'll get it a headache. This might be something basic you're misunderstanding but try, instead of forcing or fighting with the attention, to let it rest on your object. Imagine you're training a new puppy to pee on the newspaper in the hall instead of on the living room carpet. Your attention is the puppy, each time it goes to pee on the carpet you pick it up, gently, and put it where it should be. Every time you notice the attention has moved from the object, gently guide it back to where you want it be. Don't fight with it, argue with it, kick it or grab it by the scruff of the neck. Softly, softly, catchy terrapin or whatever the saying is.

Maybe you would like to describe your own experience of entering jhana, especially the transition from not-yet-in-jhana to in-jhana. Also, I would like to know how one feels when in there. I've read descriptions that said that every last bit of willful action or intent is basically gone there, meaning you can't even decide that you want to get out any more and are basically a completely passive observer. Would you describe that as accurate or am I expecting too much of a really distinct experience here, too?
Jhanas are incredibly simple when you drop all the expectations of what you think they feel like. The descriptions you give are at bit OTT and certainly don't correlate with any jhanic experience I've ever had. It's possible to enter extraordinary levels of absorption in each jhana but the training and time required, not to mention the fact that it's totally unnecessary to making progress, is prohibitive with a normal. non-monastic lifestyle.
Have you ever stared at your own reflection in the mirror and watched your face distort? This is a jhana-like state.
Remember what I said about being focused on reading a book and realizing you've been unaware of everything around you? This is like jhana.
Check this thread from
KFD about how the eyes focus in each jhana and you might get a more realistic idea of the levels of absorption we're talking about here.
This is simple. Really. It's not complicated.
Best of luck and I hope that helps.