Ok, I'll attempt to diagnose what you describe in terms of the
Progress of Insight (you'll want to read through all those cycles, and maybe most of MCTB as well), but keep in mind that I have basically no knowledge of bi-polar disorder, except it seems to mimic A&P->Dark Night pretty well.
This post specifically addresses that topic and you might like to read it.
Timothy H:
What both of these instances have in common was that my perspective of the world just abruptly broadened to this massive size. In both cases, I had a perception of this web of actions that connected me and everything else. I clearly saw people’s motivations without any effort to try and decipher it from their words and demeanor. I felt I could glimpse and interact with their core self and not just through all these societal filters. It was an amazing feeling of connectedness with everyone and everything. I didn’t feel alone.
A&P
Timothy H:
Walking down the street, i would hear people’s passing conversations and consider their words in relation to my life. I was convinced that in every circumstance I could learn something about myself. I gave meaning to these passing voices that would otherwise be lost among the chaos of the world and believed that those words I overheard were “God” or a higher power or force that one could learn and interact with if interpreted in a certain way. Though these passing people did not consider me for one second in their speech I believed their words could be a great insight to my own existence and habits.
A&P
Timothy H:
Growing up in this western culture, the existence of God, Jesus and the Devil were constantly in my thoughts, which is what triggered my fear and paranoia. I contemplated their roles in the world and even was convinced my friends and myself were either the Devil or Jesus. I literally believed I was facing the devil in certain situations. These characters were constantly changing people. At one moment I thought one person is devil and the next I was convinced I was the devil. Same with the role of Jesus. This notion put pressure on my actions and speech and gave me the idea that there were grave circumstances if I did something wrong. This pressure was immensely painful but the joy of interacting with what I believed to be a ‘higher power’ was also immense.
Dark Night (Fear, Misery, Disgust, Desire for Deliverance)
Timothy H:
For a long time, I’ve wanted to see the magic of the world. I believed that this day to day bullshit wasn’t all there is. There had to be something more. When I went into this state I believed I was in this world but I saw its true magical nature. It’s just so hidden from everyone else. At one point, I believed I conversed with “God” in the christain or catholic sense. I’ve tried to figure out what this could have been. These thoughts I had were not coming from my conscious self because I was also interacting with this voice. It could have been I was having a conversation with my subconscious but these voices really seemed like actual entities just not what I considered me. I’ve thought that I witnessed all the persons that together form my personality. But I don’t know. I’m a little lost on how to classify it.
You tapped into a very deep part of your brain. Don't follow the voices man - they're just 'you' =P.
This thread specifically addresses that.
Timothy H:
It’s tough to recall specific insights I had as they were more just feelings of truly knowing. I would say realizing this web and my relation to it was the most influential. Very sensationalistic thoughts occur still based off this idea but I have to disregard them because they sort of cause a little panic in me.
feeling that you know is A&P. actually knowing comes from going through the cycles, paying attention to the nature of reality as it is (not as to what 'feels right'), getting a fruition, getting enlightened, etc...
EDIT: Not to say none of your insights were useful. But you have some work to do to tease out what was actual insight and what was delusion. Harder to do on drugs, I think, not that you can't have valid insights on drugs.