Hello.
Actually my understanding of Richard's model of "being" comes from this:
http://actualfreedom.com.au/richard/konradcorrespondence/pagefourteen.htm
"
The human animal – with its unique ability to think and reflect upon its own death – transforms this ‘reptilian brain’ rudimentary ‘self’ into being a feeling ‘me’ (as soul in the heart) and from this core of ‘being’ the ‘feeler’ then infiltrates into thought to become the ‘thinker’ ... a thinking ‘I’ (as ego in the head).
"
So my understanding is that "being" (in an ordinary person) is tripartite, there is a rudimentary animal self (formed by the swirling (I think Richard says eddying) of the instinctual passions) and this animal self creates a feeler (soul) in the heart and finally a thinker in the head.
So I meant that I had instinctual passions without the soul or ego. Correct if I'm wrong though, I'm actually sort of curious.
were you free of both ego and soul you wouldn't experience instinctual passion
also, how could you be described as innocent with instinctual passion?
Again, I meant that I had instinctual passions but simply lacked the "parts" of an ego and soul. Innocence was just a term I used.
as i understand it, out-from-control virtual freedom occurs due to "less" self, rather than "more" self as would be present in horrendous and dramatic circumstances. although here, i have no experience, and even if i did, couldn't say for sure that it would be impossible to get into an out-from control virtual freedom through something like this.
Oh no, believe me, it was the thrill of it that was part of the OFC Freedom. I'm fairly certain that to become OFC VF one would have to go through some drama in their life (an uprooting, so to speak). That is my idea anyways.
not sure what you're talking about here
I was just emphasizing that there was a distinct end to the actualism process, extinction.
again, i don't think out-from-control virtual freedom would be like that, from descriptions of others
Oh no, I am absolutely sure that I was Out-From-Control (and I don't mean: raving lunatic, running around out of control). If there is one thing I'm sure of it is that in those brief few months that I lived, I lived in an Out-From-Control freedom, heading towards something.
as you described it, the brutalness and innocence were both without ego/soul but with instinctual passion, wouldn't they be the same?
No during the "normal" period I lived with an Ego and Soul. But yes you're right theoretically they should be the same. It wasn't really that way though. During the "innocence" period my life was: ok. During the "normal" period it was: horrible.
During the OFC period: it was mountains better than anything. Kind of.
but you are often angry+have those other emotions? this doesn't seem like virtual freedom
you may have all your terms severely mixed up, or something. my suggestion would be that you describe your day to day experience, what you want to change, and how you plan to change it.
forget the life history, if you are sincere focus on what you experience, what you want to change, and how you plan to change it, so that people can give you helpful advice on what you can do to achieve your goals. if not, consider what you might be missing
Indeed, I'm not VF as of now. But as far I'm concerned being VF meant always feeling good. I always felt good. So I called myself VF. I may have been angry, but I felt good. I don't know, it's weird, maybe. lawl, anyways.
Yeah I'm not really practicing as of now, just would like to have this state that I'm in become stable. I'm ostensibly happy as of now and don't really feel sad. It's good to feel happy, average or normal.
lulz