| | RE: Metta Answer 1/3/12 7:38 AM as a reply to Hazel Kathleen Strange. Metta is one of my favorite topics.
For me, metta, as with the other three divine abodes- compassion, sympathetic joy, and eqaunimity- is a central practice.
This guided meditation by Gil Fronsdal was my formal meditative introduction to metta practice: http://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/44.html
Metta is goodwill, and friendliness. This gets purified, strengthened, and balanced with the other brahma viharas. Formal metta practice like in the talk above was very helpful. I went through a period of time (not in retreat) when I would spend much of each day repeating the phrases in my head. I found that it was a way to basically replace unskillful thoughts, and also to kind of massage my heart into a pleasurable and more open and loving state. It is through metta practice that I discovered the whole world of beautiful thoughts, sensations, experiences, and interactions that come from an attitude of non-harming, and a psyche that is not hung-up and uncomfortable due to the inability to feel metta toward "difficult" people.
I've come to understand metta as central to dharma life. The practices of purifying the mind/heart, through mindfulness and concentration, are also, I believe, essential to the development of true metta. Each feeds the other's progress, and complements one another. There are a lot of painful thoughts and actions that come essentially from self-view, and as we work to see these, and to change, what is happening from the "love" perspective (as opposed to wisdom) is that the sense of separation, destructive emotions, and actions based on intolerance, is fading away.
So, formal metta practice can help to open to deeper levels of insight, and the insight refines and strengthens the expression of metta, as well as the other three brahma viharas. The mind/heart, awareness, becomes more open, transparant, and encompassing with dharma practice. The result of this is an authentic transformation of the psyche, of perception, and emotion that is able to love in an appropriate, skillful, way, in any circumstances. When friendliness is strong, it's a gift to others. "Hatred never ends through hatred, hatred only ends by non-hatred/ love"- the dhammapada. The Buddha also says that wise friendship is the whole of the spiritual path.
Get a sense of the heart, see the ways in which it may be closed, stingy, vengeful, confused, in pain, cold, untrustworthy, tired, overexcited, aloof, stressed, and then BRING friendliness toward that. Are there painful judgements toward this? That's aversion, and the only way to counteract that is non-harming/ love! This is the process of having a shift of perspective toward ourselves and the world, from one that is closed, blind, and rigid, to one that is open, clear and flexible. It's by conciously choosing to cultivate a friendlier attitude- and discovering the ins and outs, and depths, of what that is- toward life that develops the "wise friendship" in one's life.
Another couple metta practices I've found helpful are 1: bowing. Before and after each meditation, perhaps, bow on one's knees, slowly (this is Ajahn Chah's instruction), with mindfulness immersed in the body, until the forhead touches the ground ("good for conceit!"), three times. The first time, keep in mind "I bow to the purity of the buddha," then the second time "the radiance of the dharma," and the third to "the peacefulness of the sangha." Then, perhaps just sit still before assuming the sitting posture and gently- not forcing- just very simply radiate the sense (if you have it, or perhaps just the intention to have it) above, below, inside and outside, front and back, and side to side. Maybe close this with the thought "may all beings be happy," or "may I be happy." This is one example of how I recommend incorporating metta into your sitting, and to increase metta over time. In doing this, I improved the ways in which I was forcing the metta, not being gentle (which was imbalancing my vipassana efforting), and practicing selfishly or in a limited way. It is a checking-in to the intention for simple inner strength, warmth, and good friendship to oneself and to others. The 2nd practice I would suggest is the metta sutta. Try memorizing it (also good for concentration). Try chanting it consistently, say, once a day, for a long period of time. Through this practice, I really explored the metta practice! At first, it felt really good to chant this chant that is wishing well in various ways to various categories of people. Then it began to feel awful, which was a kind of purification, revealing the many ways in which I was showing preferences, or holding grudges. Eventually it got better again, and it was well-worth the effort, practice and perserverance. The metta practice is a heart-softening practice, an excellent way to keep make sure our practice is on-point. And don't beat yourself up (again, harming!) whether or not you are feeling enough love or not. The intention is all you need- just try to remember to get in touch with that. More and more, I appreciate that metta is a way of relating to life. You don't have to do anything at all- just be here. You may have to do something to do nothing, and one of the best things to do for that is metta practice, because it's a way of setting the intention for, and giving expression to, the wish for one's own authentic happiness/wellbeing and the happiness/wellbeing of others, which is essential to dharma practice.
Another thing that can be helpful is to read Sharon Salzberg's book "Lovingkindness," as she probably mentions in there some stuff I neglected to mention here. |