Ah. This is interesting. If you want to read more on fruitions then I would read the entire chapter called MCTB The Progress of Insight in Daniel Ingram's book,
Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha.
Basically it is a short moment where the mind has a very spacious awareness and then shortly 'blips' out of reality for half a second or so, with nothing to find in the gap. It is something that can happen very naturally. After one has had this experience (on accident or not) they tend to go thru spiritual purification cycles automatically. Some meditators will practice for months or years to try and get a fruition.
If it happened, it happened, if not then not. It shouldn't be that big of a deal to know if you did right now (but maybe interesting to know whats happening if it happens later).
John Hooper:
I was very detached however. In my freedom, I realized that I had become indifferent to the suffering of others, even those close to me. I went to someone who told me that I could stay free and indifferent, but that I there was another step I needed to take. I needed to come back, open my heart, feel, and live in the real world. He said this would be a painful process.
That was the end of detachment and equanimity for me, and then the anxiety came back, then more Dark Night. Instead of detached peace, I have suffering, but also an increasingly open heart. My detached peace would have probably vanished anyway.
Ah. These are bittersweet words. I have had to deal with my heart opening up (as it relates to me) and some suffering that came with it, but at the same time I think it has let me see the world as it really is, and allowed me to interact with people as they really are. It was either take the dive and explore some more or continue to stagnate and feel this lingering guilt for not taking it to the next level.
If I had to look for a sign of progress and happiness that is consistant over time (so that I am not floundering about while waiting for dark nights to end/so I can be purposeful no matter how I feel), I would say I am at my best during the times when I am authentic and aiming for what is best for myself and everyone around me, even if I'm anxious or feeling unpleasant body sensations. I really, really want what is best for people and I'm not afraid to suffer occasionally for it (a suffering which seems to decrease over time as I adapt). Does that make me naieve? Maybe, but I'm happy with it and it seems wholesome to me : ).
There is also something about acting naieve and authentic which allows one to really learn and be impacted from ones experiences on a deep level. This in itself is very rewarding. I know that I'm developing myself instead of developing masks to wear in front of people.
It also provides a chance to use personal intellegence (logical/emotional/social intellegence) to it's fullest and be okay with it if I end up wrong. I was raised in an intellectual family, so I tend to think this way. Being open and accepting of naieveness is a kind of fearlessness to act and be confident. Cause if I'm wrong, guess what? I got something valuable out of it for next time.
You will get a lot of opinions around here and a lot to learn. I hope find something useful : )
Oliver