Any stretch in particular Katy?
I had back surgery a long time ago and lumbar stretches (for two minutes or more with long, slow deep breathing) help me reduce/avoid accumulating tension in the low back. A teacher recently showed four exceedingly sensible and easy stretches to do in the morning (I have seen people use these when back is in spasm):
1. laying flat on back, bring one knee to the chest (the other leg is gently straight or slightly bent as needed) and for two minutes be there with long, slow, deep, breathing (ujjayi breathing if you know it, though it is not essential) via nostrils, if you are not congested
2. switch legs and repeat
The above gently stretches the psoas muscles as well as muscles in th elow back
3. bring both legs into the chest and gently bring cheeks to the knees. Take a few breathes, then release the head down and continue to have the knees at the chest, roll slightly the weight back and forth between both hips as if your pressing cookie dough flat with your low back.
Do not do anything that feels painful. Any stretch feeling is "comfortably active" not unnerving, painful or unstable. If I can take long slow deep breathes repeatedly, then I generally find the stretch is in the correct effort.
If it is winter in your area, consider drinking hot water throughout the day, especially towards the evening. This helps to prepare the body for stretching.
I am going to add an activity for the evening in conjunction with evening stretches in view of your recurring "dark night" symptoms. (I'll add first just a reminder that the knowledges of misery, aversion, hatred, fearfulness are not something to be avoided, nor are they "bad"; in my experience, being in them with receptivity and without physical tension (or with physical tensions acknowledged, studies, then ameliorated) and/or spending designated time with them analytically (because, for me DN was abundant with complex and often harsh ideation) is what results in their bodily conversion from hardships to insight.). So, back to the activity for consideration with evening stretches when hard symptoms of the knowledges of suffering occur ("DN"): if you have warm water and a shower (or just warm water and a cloth) I would suggest that, before or after evening stretches, take a warm shower and rub the body vigorously with a cloth in circular motions. This is gentle, but vigorous. (If you have an arm injury of any sort and cannot do this, no worries. None of this is essential, it is a little showmanship to address the showmanship of DN symptoms. These actions are not necessary at all. Further, if it is winter where you live at present, then consider adding a little oil to your lotion (or just using a scented natural oil) to moisturize after the shower.)
Evening stretches (these can be done in a chair if you have hurt hamstrings, but ultimately, stretching the hamstrings is very key to the low back's relaxation - tight hamstrings can pull on the muscles of the low back and increase tension there; if one sits all day, then hamstrings are contracted all day and this, to me, contributes to the back's stagnancy and availability to tension):
A. Uttanasana: I just drop forward from the hips, cross arms above head and hold respective elbows and rock a little between heels and toes until I find a good stretch place, then I deeply breath here for 2-3 minutes (the stretch gets softer and deeper during these minutes)
B. dandasana: I just sit down, focus on the pelvic basin spilling forward, chest bone lifting, hands flat by hips (which is a great stretch for forearms and can be adjusted with blocks and angle of rotation for symptoms of carpal tunnel (I rotate hands to knuckle-side for any tennis-elbow like twinges) and, finding a comfortabley active stretch here, I breath for two minutes and let the erector spinae and rhomboid work a bit. I sometimes like at the ceiling and point the nose up, if my neck responds well to such neck muscle-lifting-tilting.
C. Twists in both directions: if I am limber, then I might do two
reclined side twists, otherwise I might do a simpler version of
marichyasanawithout the behind-the-back hold (see modifications in the link)
If you want to do some pranayama with breathing, there is
cow-cat. A caution here: cow-cat led to my A&P event at age 15. It was a little wild and certainly unexpected, but tip-top blissful. I have since heard that cow-cat breathing is known for sometimes causing some out-of-body/bliss sensations.
You might use Yoga Journal.com or google scholar "Ray Long, MD" for guidelines on these stretches.
After these stretches can be a good time for a little sitting meditation. Or, a great time for getting in bed and placing the mental faculty of attention on afferent sensations: pillow case smoothness, weight of eyelids, weight of skin between eye brows releasing, jaws releasing, weight of blanket over hips, thighs, shoulders, arms, sounds of cars, sounds of snorer, rise and fall of own chest, snowfall "sound" within mind, open universe, whole body getting heavy, mental thought: rest is good.
Thanks for the very detailed reply. It's given me a lot to work with. I'll put some effort into this and report back in this thread and let you know how it worked out
Thank you for applying your efforts to raising children.